A Vincent Yuffie Affair
by Code Name - I am NRG
Summary: A series of one shots of Vincent's and Yuffie's escapades [HIATUS]
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII nor the characters associated with it.**

This is will be my first ever one-shot story which will consist a series of one shots in every chapter just for the heck of it.

The story will be the in-between moments of the group as they saved the world from their various villains.

* * *

><p><strong>XxXxXxXxXxXxX<strong>

"Give me your materia!" yelled Yuffie at the new team member; Vincent gave her an icy glare,

"No." replied the gunslinger before tripping over.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxX**

"By the gods! Who lives in a place like this? The floors creak, the ceiling leaks and there's a coffin here! What kind of desperate, boring, gloomy person lives here?" was the ninja princess reply looking over the mansion.

"This is my house." Said Vincent flatly.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxX**

"CLOUD! Vincent turned into some monster!" yelled a crying Yuffie, running as fast as her legs could carry her.

"Ugh, yes, Yuffie, he turns into a monster…that's his Limit Break." Told Cloud lamely, she hid behind him pointing at the hulking figure with a hockey mask and a chainsaw.

"Come on, Yuffie, it's still Vincent…sort of." Coaxing the ninja, she shook her head, "It revved its chainsaw at me!"

"No he didn't."

Hell Masker turned to the blonde before spying the little thief and revved the chainsaw at her causing her to shake and scream hysterically.

"…okay maybe he did."

**XxXxXxXxXxXxX**

"Why am I stuck evacuating people while the rest is kicking that two-bit SOLDIER to the curve!"

"Because you're so loud, you'll alert the damn thing before Cloud could stab the thing with his overgrown butter knife." Replied Vincent bluntly, causing the thief to yell out in protestation.

_Ugh…maybe I should have stayed in my coffin…_

**XxXxXxXxXxXxX**

After the battle and Cloud's bitter mourning of his best friend's girl who he tried to get with, Vincent felt it was time to go back and repent a bit more.

However, reaching his mansion he was greeted with the sight of construction workers with sledge hammers, jack hammers and demolishing equipment. Vincent glared at them all, but they brushed it off as they were too busy to care carrying crates and what not.

"What in hell are you doing here." Growled the gunslinger, the demolish crew manager came walking to him, he was a foot short than he was, with dark brown hair that matched his mustache and was portly built, he looked up at the gunslinger before answering,

"Well, lookie here, the building is no longer suitable to house people safely, so I'm here to tear it down, for da public's sake."

"I live here."

"You a squatter? Naw, its falling apart. Ya see, this place is not only a public hazard, the mortgage is zilch and frankly its an eyesore."

Vincent gave no reply, but glared at the man, but he didn't budge, "Lookie here, if you really live here, I'll get you pad until you get your own, its not much but its better that this falling over piece ah shit."

Vincent could see the man logical, if barely, so grudgingly; he let it be torn down after getting his stuff.

The manager gave a hearty laugh as the last brick fell, he dug into his pockets pulling out his keys and a crumpled piece of paper.

"Eh? What's this? Tear down, yada yada…oh."

"What is it?" asked Vincent, the manager gave him a nervous look, "It seems I got the wrong mansion, heh heh heh…" the man nervously laughed, Vincent looked positively murderous…

**XxXxXxXxXxXxX**

Vincent stood in the airship, feeling the monster ship rocked forward and back, Cid was whistling over the steering as the others were in the cabins. Yuffie on the other hand didn't get such a pleasant ride,

"Oh…ugh, I think I'm going to be sick…uh." Said a green Yuffie, Vincent felt a twang of sympathy for the ninja princess until the ship leaned towards his side. Yuffie couldn't hold down her lunch any longer before her projectile vomit sailed across the air and splattered on the red cloak that Vincent futilely tried to hide behind. That speck of sympathy vanished without a second thought.

"What the fuck is that smell? YUFFIE! You better not have puked on my floor!"

"I…didn't, ugh."

**XxXxXxXxXxXxX**

"I said I want your materia, Vinnie! Cloud, Tifa, Red, Barret and Cid all gave me one!" whined the little thief, Vincent glared at the nickname.

"Don't you mean the materia you _borrowed_?" said the gunslinger emphasizing on the last word, she gave a huff; muttering in an undertone on how sharp Vincent was.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxX**

Discovering the adult fun in life, Yuffie received many advice and tips from her friends, Cid seemed to give the best in her opinion.

"If I remember right brat, you never stole materia from Vincent before right?"

"Nope. He is something else; like he knows I'm up to no good."

"Who couldn't?" Yuffie gave a huff, Cid got struck with a wonderful idea, "Listen, I heard that Vincent got two new materia crafted from the Lifestream!"

"Really!" the ninja's eyes gleaming, Cid's grin grew wider, "It's hidden in his…"

Vincent was busy cleaning his numerous firearms; his eyes were constantly looking over his weapons for smudges or defections. Hearing a knock, Vincent put down the Death Penalty and opened the door to find the ever-eager Yuffie at his door.

"Yes, Yuffie?" asked the quiet shooter, she gave him a wide grin causing him to narrow his eyes, "What?"

"I heard you have some materia you're hiding from me. You're so mean!" cooed the ninja, confusing the shooter.

"I don't have any new materia. And if I did, I would of—"

"HYAH!" yelled the ninja, toppling the man to the floor, she quickly unzipped his pants and shoved her hand into his groin searching for her fabled materia. Vincent stared too shock for words or bodily functions, until he heard Yuffie yell,

"Cid, I'm only feeling some sort of sausage!"

"You got to really look! Check under it!" came the pilot's voice; he swore he heard him laughing downstairs. Yuffe dug around more thoroughly before grabbing the family jewels, she gave grin before noticing it was attached to shooter,

"Hey, Cid! Vincent's materia is like glued to him! And it's really warm!" yelled the little thief, Cid laughter could be heard all over the bar. Tifa and Cloud ran upstairs to see a sheet-white Vincent on the floor trying to remove Yuffie who had most of her arm inside his pants.

Tifa fainted at the sight while Cloud gave him the thumbs up until Vincent pointed Cerberus at him, he quickly ducked and pulled the ninja away finding out she was hood wink.

"CID!" yelled Yuffie pulling out her Conformer and running down stairs, all red in the face.

"Highwind…" Vincent picked up Death Penalty before following suit.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxX**

"Come on, guys it was a joke! Hahaha…" said a cornered Cid, he was sweating bullets as Yuffie glared at him with unbridle fury that a teenager could only do.

Vincent held both Cerberus and the Death Penalty at him, Cid's eyes bulged out, "Help! Cloud! Tifa! Help they're gonna kill poor old me!"

Running downstairs, Cloud and a red Tifa looked at the cornered pilot with their two friends holding up their weapons of choice, "You're on your own."

"You deserve it after you trick Yuffie! She practically fondled his jewels!"

Turning back to the two, he could see flames burning in both their eyes,

"…oh shit…" he began shitting bricks.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxX**

In the end, Cid did not die; he was rushed to the hospital after Yuffie delivered a nut shot kick that could be strong enough to break his pelvis in two.

Yuffie, scratched her chin, looking all guilty,

"Sorry about that Vinnie, I should have known Cid was fooling me."

"Don't take it so hard, Yuffie. I enjoyed it."

Two loud thumps echoed through the bar as Cloud and Tifa fainted.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxX**

"Merry Christmas,Vinnie!" yelled an excited Yuffie as she blew on a party horn and threw confetti through the bar. Barret and Cid sat on a table playing poker and taking shots, Cloud dressed as Santa sat on the armchair with a blushing Tifa on his lap asking what she wanted for Christmas, Red was busy running about with Denzel and Marlene chasing him; laughing as they tied bells on his heels and bows on his ears, Cait Sith was singing terrible Christmas songs in his megaphone, Reno was busy drinking a red hue on his face as he slurred words with an equally drunk Rude.

Vincent duck as Red leaped over him as Marlene had a pink dress and Denzel with makeup,

"Come on, Red! Its Christmas!"

"I refuse, children!"

Marlene giggled before quickly grabbing his tail and stuffing his head with the collar of the dress,

"Vincent! Help! Don't let them do this!"

"You heard them Nanaki, its Christmas."

Red yelled out more pleas to no avail as he was dragged away, Vincent sighed as he sipped his wine.

"Hey…Vinnie! Do you know where you are?" asked a sly Yuffie, he slowly shook his head, "Well, you're under a mistletoe! And you know the rules! You gotta kiss me!"

Vincent felt a flash of heat run through his face; was it really a rule to do so?

"I don't know, Yuffie."

"Come on, Vinnie!"

Vincent felt two hands grip his shoulders and yanking him down to her level, his headband was soon discarded before he felt the teens soft lips clasp on his, thankfully everyone was too busy with their activities to see the great Vincent Valentine mouth raped by the Single White Rose of Wutai.

The tender moment that Vincent was feeling from the hotter-than-a-thousand-suns kiss was abruptly interrupted by a girly dressed Nanaki with lips stick, braided mane, bows and bells, earrings, eyes shadow, mascara and whatever else that made him girly, tackling the two down as the two munchkins came running to see the sight.

Suddenly something fell on Vincent face much to his dazed annoyance,

"What the hell is this?" snarled Vincent, propping himself on his elbows, Yuffie pushed her bangs away to see the object before she began to snicker,

"Wow, Vinnie, is that my Christmas present?"

"…what?"

"What are you doing with my thong?" yelled a red faced Tifa, pushing, well in her case, she was sending the party goers flying across the room to retrieve the naughty article of clothing.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxX**

"Vincent…" Yuffie looked at him with her big puppy gray eyes, her lower lip gently stuck out and cutely tilting her head, Vincent recognize this as her trademark pleading attic.

"…can I have some materia? Please?" she said cutely, Vincent's eye brows twitched,

"…no."

"Aw, come on, Vinnie! I did all those cute faces, voice and the puppy eyes! I know it made you melt in the inside!"

"…here then." Vincent dug into his pouch before handing her a glowing orb; the little thief grinned and hugged the shooter before she began to examine the gift.

"Hey, wait a minute! This is a dud!" she yelled at the retreating figure, Vincent grinned evilly under his collar.

**I never knew you would be so…evil. **Said Chaos smirking.

_I learn from the best._

**XxXxXxXxXxXxX**

"Admit it Vinnie! You-you want-ted to bang thi-this goddess body-y the day we met-t!" slurred a drunk Yuffie, Cid promptly down a shot before whipping around at the thief, who obviously wasted out of her mind.

"Who the fuck are you talking to you skinny brat? You gotta be out of your freaking materia-obsessed mind! Your body is nothing close to a goddess!"

"Oi, shut up, my freaking head is bumpin' foo!"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Rawr, growl, rawr, howl, growl, drool." Snarled a fire tip cat, dog, wolf thingy, as it ran underneath the drinkers.

"What the hell is going on? Where's my clothes?"

"I didn't mean to stab her! Why is everyone one blaming me?" [Guess who this is]

"Yuffie, never once had the thought of 'banging' your 'goddess body' has run through my mind."

"Ah, Vinnie, don't lie! You always look at me hungrily with those red eyes!"

"Gawd, I hate it when you guys get drunk; I always end up driving you guys home."

"I didn't to shoot you, ugh, that bitch slap me and I shot you, I swear! I got miss deal!" ranted an old fart in a younger body, Vincent pulled out his trusty Cerberus before sending the fucker out the window, scaring his drinking partners.

"Vincent! What the hell!"

"Dude, warn a guy first!"

"Finally, Vinnie, that bastard was getting on my nerves." Said a grinning Yuffie, Vincent swung his gun smacking Cid to the floor, he cursed his heart out while the gunslinger pointed the gun on the poor girl.

"Eek! What are you doing!"

"You're on my nerves too." Smirked Vincent.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxX**

"Vinnie, why don't you find me attractive?" yelled Yuffie, she was nineteen and her hormones was in complete over drive, Cloud steered clear from the little thief remembering her crush on him…that and Tifa had him by the balls already.

Vincent sighed and silently thanked that it was the two of them, he turned to see the ninja with her hands on her hips and a somewhat stern look on her face.

"Yuffie, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm just too old for you."

"I don't care if you're sixty or seventy! Heck, I don't care if you're a hundred years old! To everyone you look like a twenty seven year old man! A sexy and yummy twenty seven old man." Drooled Yuffie, the glint in her eyes made Vincent slightly uncomfortable which is saying a lot, he slightly edged away, her eyes was trying to X-Ray vision into his pants.

"Yuffie, be reasonable, I'm definitely not the guy for you."

"What the hell are you talking about! You're the perfect one! I'm a ball of energy and I'm fun to be with while you're all gloomy and brooding! We balance each other out!"

"I am NOT all gloomy and brooding." Stated the gunslinger sternly, the ninja grinned wrapping her arms around his waist before he felt them snake underneath his shirt and feel the skin underneath. Vincent felt an electrical surge run through him as her fingers glided over his abs, he quickly grabbed her in the shoulder with both hands…bad move.

Yuffie made a pained look, "Yinnie…your claw…" Vincent pulled back only to snip her strap causing her tube top to fall to her navel, leaving her goodies on display, Vincent blushed.

"Ah, I am attractive now huh? Vinnie you perverted old man!" chirped Yuffie, she grabbed his undershirt and pulled it up while she got the chance, exposing his torso to her perky breasts and rubbed them on it.

Vincent took a step back only to fall over his red cloak with Yuffie still latched on, the ninja grinned while Vincent face palm himself, _what is going on today?_

_Vinnie is such a pervert! I like that!_

**XxXxXxXxXxXxX**

Vincent slowly made his way upstairs to his room in Tifa's bar, after a long day's work, apparently Cloud's job was not as easy as it seemed. He silently cursed at Cloud for catching a cold, _he should have fallen asleep in the shower after he banged Tifa, idiot. _He groaned as he felt where got shot by the bandit ached, even though it was healed the pain lingered, haggard and aching, he just wanted to fall into bed.

Tifa's voiced found its way to him, telling him that dinner would be ready soon, he felt a slightly relieved before turning the knob to his door and was greeted with the sight of…

"The Single White Rose of Wutai demands you spank this teeny ass!" chirped Yuffie, she was on fours with her short shorts down to her ankle and her snow white thong clinging on her ass for dear life.

Vincent stared before slowly, ever so slowly, retreated from his room before closing the door.

Yuffie tilted her head not sure what to make of his reaction,

"Vinnie?"

The gunslinger took a moment to gather his thoughts before yelling from the safety of the other side of the door,

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"

Yuffie was about to yell but though better to do so, she carefully got off his bed before pulling up her short-shorts. She calmly open the door and apologized to the shooter before going to her room, the whole time scaring the poor shooter.

Vincent watched her bewildered from her lack of energetic and stubborn self, he walked to her door before knocking worried.

"Yuffie?"

Pause.

"Yes, Vinnie?"

Vincent stood there waiting for an answer before he heard the door creak open, he was about to fully open it before a rush of sound and sudden blindness stopped him.

Yuffie peered at the gunslinger, "Your welcome, Vinnie."

She quietly closed the door before Vincent whipped the object from his eyes and found out it was Yuffie's thong.

_Fuck my life…_

* * *

><p><em><em>Yeah, this story had been collecting dust in my hard drive for too long, its time it had some light for a change. My one shots will mostly revolve around Vincent and Yuffie with other pairings but not as much and to sweeten the deal I promise not to put any Chuck Norris in this story as my D. Gray Man has pretty much cover it.

So, don't be shy to leave a ton of review, comment, flames, blah blah blah.

Yeah you know the drill and you'd follow it if you know what's good for you.

_Ciao_

NRG: Temper much?

FYU: Pfft, yeah right._  
><em>


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

An affair like no other

VvVvV

Yuffie giggled as she hid behind the bar, Tifa found her there after she nearly trampled the little ninja.

"What are you giggling so much for?" asked Tifa as she cleaned a glass, the ninja giggled even harder,

"You know Vincent always drinks wine in the afternoon, right?"

"…right?"

"Well, I changed it with cranberry juice!"

Tifa dropped the glass as it shattered into a million pieces scaring Yuffie, "What's wrong boobs?"

"Yuffie…Vincent can't drink cranberry juice…"

"…why?"

"He gets…really…really…really…"

"Really what?"

The two girls cringed as the door got kicked down; Vincent was glaring fire at Yuffie who hid behind the safety of the bar,

"Yuffie…"

Cloud came running into the bar, his sword at the ready, "What the hell is going on?"

Tifa immediately answered getting as far away from the enraged Vincent, "Yuffie gave cranberry juice to Vincent!"

"Boobs you traitor!"

"SO IT WAS YOU?"

Cloud paled before grabbing Tifa and keeping her behind her, "Vincent, Tifa's mine."

"What in the world is wrong with you?" yelled Yuffie before spying his monster boner, "Oh…my…"

He glared hard at Yuffie, "This is your entire fault…" he hissed, Yuffie looked at Cloud and Tifa and noticed they had high tailed the area, the door swung mockingly at her.

"Oh fuck."

Vincent pounced on her then it was all black…

VvVvV

"Oh, my head." Yuffie rubbed her head before noticing she was naked on a bed, she wrapped her arms around her bust before noticing Vincent was next to her equally naked and awake.

"Vincent…did…did you…?" putting two and two together seeing all their discarded clothes carpeting the floor, she groaned as her lower region gave a spasm of pain.

"I…did." He replied with a guilty face, "I didn't stop till an hour ago…"

Yuffie stared at him in shock, she had been basically raped and fucked silly by Vincent Valentine…

Her face suddenly contorted in rage before she yelled at him, "You popped my cherry and I wasn't awake to enjoy it!"

Vincent groaned face palming himself.

VvVvV

"Vincent calm down!" yelled Tifa as she tried to pry Yuffie out of his grip, "What did she do this time?"

"I caught her in my room while I was asleep with a ruler and undoing my pants!"

Tifa cocked her head back before looking at the ninja, "Why were you doing that for?"

Yuffie shrugged before answering, "I wanted to measure the monster size dick that raped me."

Tifa and Vincent sweat drop.

VvVvV

Vincent was not a happy person at the moment, stuck with three girls on their period.

_I hope you have a mother fuckin' hangover in the morning Cid, Barret and Cloud_…

The three men all sneezed in unison.

VvVvV

Yuffie yawn before hopping off the bed in her panties and oversized shirt, "Ah, that was a good nap!"

"Yuffie can you for ONCE take a nap in your own room." Hissed Vincent, glaring daggers at the ninja, she blew a raspberry at him before bending over making Vincent sputter words.

"What are earth are you doing?"

"What's it look like? I'm stretching!" she said through the gap between her legs as her hands easily laid flat on the floor, purposely giving Vincent a good look at her bent over figure.

VvV

Cloud picked up the phone seeing as the Caller ID stated it was Vincent, who hardly ever calls.

"Hey, Vincent, is something the matter?"

Vincent's gruff voiced answered back, "Yeah, I'm in prison."

Cloud was startled before fumbling with the phone, "How in the world did you get into prison! You're a hero!"

Vincent groaned in the other line, "A couple cops saw me with Shelke and Yuffie. They thought I was going to have sex with them."

"But you had sex with Yuffie."

"That's not the point! Come over here and bail me out."

Cloud sighed looking back at the stairs, "Can you wait, uh, five hours?"

"NO. Stop having sex with Tifa for ten minutes and get me out of here." The former SOLDIER sighed before replying, "Alright, I'll be there in a bit."

**10 hours later…**

Vincent walked out of the prison fuming, Cid cackled at his misfortune,

"How many times are you going to get arrested for the same fuckin' charges! You have to stop being dragged around by those two little girls!"

"I know…this is the 13th time…and I'm going to back to jail after I kill Cloud…" Cid laughed again as Vincent quickly morphed in Chaos and took flight,

Cid's cigarette fell, "…oh shit…he was serious."

VvV

"Materia! Materia! Materia!" Yuffie happily said in her sleep, Vincent eye brow twitched,

"Even in her sleep…"

"Ah, no, Vinnie don't…those are mine…" Vincent blushed lightly, before the ninja princess blushed hard,

"…no, please don't use the hand cuffs…" she cooed, Vincent's blush vanished and it was replace with a nose bleed.

VvV

"Then I was like 'take that you bitch!' and then she was like 'you whore!'" giggled Yuffie, Tifa covered Denzel's ears before glaring at the ninja.

"Yuffie, stop saying those words!"

The ninja princess tilted her head, unsure what the bar maid was talking about, "Why?"

"For one Denzel is here and two I don't want to know what you and Shelke yell at each other when you two are peeping on Vincent!"

"YOU PEEP ON ME!" roared a voice, Yuffie cringed.

VvV

*Knock* *knock*

Vincent looked at the door before sighing and putting his book down, he strolled to the wooden door before he opened the door and heard a familiar voice,

"Materia!"

Vincent immediately slammed the door.

VvV

Yuffie was busy looking out the balcony, her thoughts filled with materia, Vincent and Vincent giving his materia to her.

She sighed before she wiggled her teen hips, "What doesn't Vincent ever notice me as a woman?"

"Bwahahahahaha! You? A woman? Ahahaha!" cackled someone from below, she glared at Cid who was clutching his sides in laughter.

"Shut your face old man!" yelled the ninja who's face turned beet red from embarrassment and anger.

The pilot wiped the tear in his eye, "Oh, man that really made my day!"

Yuffie growled before grabbing a potted plant and flinging it at the pilot knocking him down, "Oi! You fuckin' brat!"

Yuffie childishly stuck her tongue at him, before she heard a window open and a rush of water and Cid cursing to high heaven.

The ninja chuckled as she heard the bar maid below apologize to the pilot, "Oh, I'm so sorry Cid! I didn't see you there when I threw out the backed up toilet water!"

"WHAT!"

Yuffie burst out laughing.

VvV

Vincent walked down stairs from his room to the bar room, apparently his friends had something planned for him.

_This better not be another surprise parties. The last one didn't end so well…_ Vincent thought as Yuffie had hid inside a 10 tier cake only to pop out, her body covered in only frosting.

"Okay, you dragged me out of bed, what is it, Strife?" asked the sleepy gunner. Vincent yawned before he noticed the whole bar was transformed: the lights were off and lit candles was scattered all over the bar, red velvet curtains and drapes hung on the windows, matching rugs and carpets, and the air was laced with a sort of spice that was both refreshing and causing him to feel slightly paranoid.

"What the world is going on?" muttered Vincent, his eyes narrowed.

His eyes widen as shadowy cloak figures began to shift in the room, Vincent grabbed the handle of his gun before the lights flashed on, temporarily blinding him.

"Surprise, Vincent!" yelled a multitude of voices, Vincent blinked the light away from his eyes and saw all his friends dressed in similar attires like him.

Yuffie replaced her headband with a red one like his, a black undershirt and short shorts that clung to her skin, a makeshift red cape and a glove with gold plates mimicking his gauntlet.

Vincent's eye twitched as his friends also followed his daily attire, although Barret had a harder time because of his bulky build, Tifa's massive boobs and Red XIII had a red bed sheet with two holes for his eyes.

"Yuffie…" Vincent hissed, the little ninja grabbed his arm before dragging him to the bar while his friends acted all broody and distant…to a degree. Cid continued to smoke and cuss, Barret was acting like himself, Cloud was busy trying to pretend not to be eying Tifa's red wrapping chest that bounced and jiggled while she gave Rude and Reno their drinks who tried not to stare as the former SOLDIER was lurking nearby, Denzel sat in the corner sipping his grape juice with his feet on the table before he spilled the grape on himself before ran off, Cait Sith had a miniature version of his attire while Shelke sat on the bar stool similar to Yuffie's own.

Yuffie giggled, "It was my idea, do you like it?"

"What was your idea?" growled Vincent, Shelke turned her seat to him before answering, "Isn't it obvious?"

Vincent narrowed his eyes, "Is it now?"

Shelke rolled her eyes as Yuffie finally gave an answered, "It's Vincent Valentine day!"

Vincent cocked his head, "What? Why make a day based on me?"

Yuffie grinned, "Well, I thought it would be fun!"

Vincent groaned before looking around, somehow the decoration looked so…familiar…

"Yuffie, where did you get all this stuff?"

"Oh, that…well we went raided your room while you were…uh oh."

Shelke groaned along who were listening to the conversation, "Yuffie…"

And like a blur of red, Yuffie went running out the door while a murderous Vincent chased after her.

VvV

"Vincent."

"Yes, Yuffie?"

"What is it like to transform?"

The red eye gunner stroked his chin before replying, "I do not know how to explain it, I just know that I am consumed by my powers before taking shape of them. I am mostly in control whenever I call upon my powers."

Yuffie nodded like a child, "So does that mean your penis will vary in length of each transformation?"

"I suppose, hey wait! Why do you want to know that for?"

Yuffie shrugged, "I don't want to be impaled next time you lose control and end up in the hospital for six months in a body cast."

Vincent glared at her, "That was your fault."

VvV

"Eek!"

"What is it boobs?"

"Someone left this moldy thing in my ref!"

"…"

"Yuffie?"

"…so, that's where I left Vincent's breakfast…my bad."

"Throw. It. Out."

Yuffie stared wide eye at her older-sister-part, "What if it is still good?"

"Yuffie, there is mold, fungus and a toadstool growing on it…get rid of it."

The ninja huffed, "You're no fun." The bar maid simply cracked her knuckles before the ninja went racing out of the bar.

VvV

"Hey mom, my teacher asked me to get you to sign this paper for tomorrow's class." Denzel said dropping his bag, Cloud and Tifa had become the boy's parental figures and such giving them the titles.

Tifa tilted her head as she read the paper before she turned red, "Wha-what is this?"

Cloud frowned before walking over and reading the paper, he choked at the lines he read, "Why in the world—"

Denzel merely shrugged, "The teachers wanted the all students to get their forms signed before we started on out Sex Education classes."

The couple looked flabbergast at the boy's answer, "Who implemented to teach you this?"

Denzel sighed, "Well, after the Auntie Yuffie incident, the school wanted to teach the classes."

"What is the Yuffie incident?" asked Cloud, Tifa was already narrowing her eyes, the boy made a face.

"Well, the teachers saw Auntie Yuffie and Vincent running past our school, Yuffie was in a schoolgirl cosplay and Vincent was in a red business suit."

Cloud groaned while Tifa was pissed, "Why were they doing that?"

Denzel imitated Yuffie's voice, "'No! Please touch me there!' and 'I'm just but an innocent little girl!' I don't understand why they were doing that."

The couple sighed, "That's how adults play." Before signing the paper.

VvV

"Yuffie, we need to talk." Said a glaring Tifa, even with her hair in a net, a dirty apron and a sponge in her hand, the ninja looked positively terrified of the bar maid.

"A-about what-t?" stuttered the ninja, the bar maid eyes narrowed further.

"It's about you and Vincent's…actions that caught the attention of Denzel's school teachers."

Yuffie sweat drop.

"I can totally explain why we were doing what we did."

"Oh?" said Tifa, lowering the sponge before wiping her hands on a hand towel before putting one glove on. Yuffie's eyes widen,

"…foreplay?"

A loud scream echoed throughout the bar before it became eerily quiet, garnering the attention of both Cloud and Vincent. The two looked at each other before walking downstairs to the sight of Yuffie sniffling as she adopted a kitchen washer theme: a hairnet, an apron, pair of gloves and a stack of dishes.

Cloud covered his mouth to stop his laughter while Vincent simply pinched the bridge of his nose, "I thought you had got yourself into trouble again."

"I am! Look at me!" she wailed before Tifa walked in with a satisfied smirk, Cloud wisely left the two leaving Vincent.

"You're not leaving until you're done with that stack dishes as punishment for what you did."

"What did she do?" asked Vincent as he watched the ninja scrub a plate before noticing Tifa smiling broadly at the gunner making him flinch.

"Well, it would not be fair if she only took half of the punishment." She said slyly.

The gunner raised his brows in surprise, "What did I do?"

"Oh, let's say a certain businessman chased an underage school girl." Vincent closed his eyes with a blush on his cheeks,

"Fine."

Tifa smiled before making the peace sign.

VvV

"You have to be kidding."

"Nope, now hurry people will want a drink."

"I'm sure there is something else they want. If I'm doing this then Strife should share in my humiliation."

"Nuh-uh, you're doing this as punishment for what happened with Denzel." Tifa said before sighing and looking at the somewhat fidgeting former Turk.

"Oh, come on, Mr. Valentine, Yuffie is doing dishes for a month, you're only doing this for a night."

The gunner sighed before looking at one article of clothing in his uniform, his eye twitched, "Please tell me this is new."

"It is."

The gunner sighed, his cheeks red before changing his uniform for the night, Tifa giggled, leaving the room giving the gunner his privacy.

The bar maid continued to chuckle before spotting a tired Yuffie on the bar stool rubbing her wrists, she was muttering under her breath.

"…friggin' boobs, making me wash. Hmph, my hands hurts."

Tifa rolled her eyes before going behind the counter and smirked at the ninja, "Aw, does your hands hurt?" said Tifa in a mushy lovey-dovey voice.

The ninja attempted to burn the bar maid with her non-existent laser eye ability, however the alluring bar maid continued to smile at the ninja. Yuffie huffed not able to stay angry with Tifa, she was the older sister she didn't want but Leviathan gave her one anyways.

"Why are you so happy, boobs?"

"Oh, it's not me that is going to be happy, but you!" gushed Tifa making Yuffie suddenly suspicious of her 'older sister'.

"Why?" questioned Yuffie, "You're not good at making pranks or otherwise."

The bar maid frowned but grinned, "Oh, but you'll love this surprise."

The ninja remained wary but the sudden influx of customers coming into 7th Heaven took their attention, Tifa took the orders. Yuffie helped get customers some tables to seat seeing as Tifa was swamped from the all the customers, but the number of customers seemed a little too much for a regular day.

"Hey, Teef, is there anything special going on today?"

The bar maid shrugged, making her milk jugs give a little show before saying over the noise, "I guess everyone is thirsty today."

"I dunno something feels off."

Then it hit her, most of the customers were young women, some as young as her chatted with their friends. And they were all wearing their best dresses, attracting the eyes of the few male customers, but they remained oblivious to glances and hushed conversations.

The ninja turned at the bar maid, who bustle about, Yuffie quickly got behind the bar and confront her 'older sister'. Putting her hands on her hips and putting her most intimidating face, only causing male customers to eye her, Tifa chuckled at her.

"Oh, Yuffie, that won't work and besides _that _is what those girls came in for." Said Tifa, directing the ninja with her eyes behind her as a clamor of giggling, sighing, whooping and cheering went on behind her.

Yuffie immediately whipped around and found her jaw hitting the floor and drooling at the sight before her. However, at the same time she was on the verge of taking out her Conformer and threatening all the women present to back down as she exert her dominance as the alpha bitch in the bar.

Vincent calmly closed his eyes while a red hue colored his pale cheeks; he had just walked out from the back room and was greeted to the throngs of many women in the bar. He kept a neutral face as the girls openly ogled his uniform or rather the lack of it.

He wore black slacks, black dress shoes, a checkered belt made out of black and white plate studs and a white apron tired around his waist. His torso was laid bare leaving his lean chiseled chest for the female population enjoyment, however the spectacle was completed when said gunner began to walk amongst the tables asking for the women's orders.

Yuffie was busy plugging her blood dripping nose with a wad of tissue as Vincent spoke in his silkiest, if not forced, voice. Some girls immediately squealed before fainting over just to get back up again to confirm what happen and only to faint once again from sheer blood loss shot out of their nose.

Cloud walked down to the bar checking on the commotion only to gag at the sight of his friend, "What the heck—"

Tifa turned her head to her astound boyfriend as a wide lusty smirk appeared on her face, Cloud flinched before running back up the stairs.

"Oh, Cloud…" said the barmaid slyly, all she received was a very reluctant grunt of acknowledgement.

Vincent tried to keep his smile and pleasant face to the female customers, their constant squealing, staring and mouth agape was running on his last nerves. His eyes darted to the bar just in time to see Yuffie with a box worth of tissue plugging her nose, but his eyes locking with hers made the ninja seemingly snap out of trance and she immediately blew the plugs out in a very unladylike fashion. The gunner sweat drop.

"Um, Mr. Valentine?"

"Hey, sexy, over here."

"Mhmm, I like that sweet ass."

"Well, hello, there yummy!"

Vincent's eye twitched violently for a moment before he continued gathering orders before heading back to the bar as a smirking Tifa and a cross-armed, frowning Yuffie were there to greet him.

"I don't believe you, Lockhart." Hissed Vincent, the barmaid gave an easy smile, "Oh, come on, that is the easy part! Now you get to give their orders!"

Vincent refrain from groaning, in the fear the women would hear and think he was thinking perverted that would send them barreling at him. Tifa chuckled before fixing up the orders and carefully loading the many serving trays for Vincent.

Yuffie shot a glare at Tifa, "What the hell do you think you're doing to my Vincent!"

"Oh, so he is yours?"

"Damn right! That's mine!"

The barmaid held back her laughter, Yuffie sound so much like a child whose toy had been taken away from her from bad behavior.

Vincent did his best to ignore the women unconsciously licking their lips, the hungry and lustful stares and the occasional moan as he went by table to table giving the orders. While his back was turned he felt several tugs on his pants, alarmed, Vincent whipped around to see several bills tucked into his pants and belt.

The women shamelessly winked, blew kisses and felt up his shapely ass. He then felt this sudden chill run down his spine, he knew Yuffie was probably glaring daggers at the women and Tifa was probably wrestling the girl to keep from running to the bar patrons and bloody murdering them as she tied him to the table and have her way with him.

_Did I just think that? What the hell!_

Vincent quickly regain his composure and finish giving the orders, the sound of disappointed sighs and mutters spur him faster to finish the ridiculous task. Reaching the bar again, Tifa simply gestured to the order laden serving trays and quickly went back to the jungle of sighing, cooing and coaxing throes of women.

Yuffie was on the verge of grinding her teeth to nubs, before Tifa leaned over her cleavage evident. "Oh, Yuffie, you should really stop glaring and grinding your teeth. Just enjoy the show!"

"I would, Teef. But I don't share my Vincent with no one! I am the verge of throttling you for doing this to him!"

Tifa gave a mock scared look, "You would do that?"

Yuffie made a murderous face, Tifa sighed, "Don't worry it's just a onetime thing, he is all yours after tonight."

"Don't say it that way, you don't own him!"

"True, but tonight he is. I promise, Yuffie, I won't make him do this again."

"Better be."

Tifa nodded before greeting the gunner again before noticing all the serving trays were clean, "You already gave all the orders?"

"Yes. I. Did."

Vincent's pants had bills stuffed one over the other, his belt was the same and his torso had lipstick etched phone numbers and his pockets had slips of numbers as well.

Yuffie looked at it with disgust, "What the hell? You look like a prostitute! Er, sorry Vince but…"

"I understand that Yuffie, but I would like you to refrain from telling me that."

The ninja blushed but quickly began to remove the bills from his pants and belt, Tifa took the slips of papers out of his pockets, smirking at all the lipstick and cat calls. With his back turned she saw messages written on his lower back,

**I'd tap this ass all night long**

**I claim you**

**I'm going to cover you in peanut butter and lick you clean myself, love Bob, Tim and Bubba.**

Tifa stared at the last message before she noticed three handsome men waving at gunner from the back table. She quickly dabbed a rag with alcohol and tried to erase the message or at least make it gibberish,

**I want some of you in my belly, sincerely your male stalker**

Tifa stared at the message then at her rag, _what the fuck!_

Fortunately, the gunner was not paying attention to Tifa's actions as he painfully listened to Yuffie's rants,

"I mean you look like a male whore, no offense Vince you're really handsome, but I mean come on! Making you go into that! Ugh, I don't believe you let them grope and pinch your ass! You don't even allow me to do that! Then all this paper stuff in your pants and these numbers, what do they take you for, a piece of delicious toned and chiseled meat! No, you're never going to go shirtless out in public, nuh-uh, not on my watch! You can only get shirtless when you and me are locked in a room and the only way out is having hot and wild sex!"

Vincent simply closed his eyes before he felt tugs on his armor clad arm, Yuffie was seething with anger, he glanced down and noticed his arm hand papers taped to it.

'Be my Valentine! xoxoxo'

'Would you be my daddy?'

'I'm a bad girl, spank my butt till my name is Mrs. Valentine'

'Fuck me!'

'Fuck me too!'

'I have twin sister, too you know'

'I want that ass'

'Can I have a lap dance?'

Yuffie's face was livid with rage, Tifa looked over and nearly fell over.

"I'm going to kill them!"

"Yuffie, stop!"

The ninja shoved the hand away before attempting to grab his shirt, but quickly grabbed his slacks since he was shirtless.

"No, you listen! You're mine Vincent Valentine!"

She then tried to jab a finger at the bar patrons, however her fingers got caught in the belts bands on the slacks and snapped the button, ripped the zipper from its seams and the belt was already removed.

Yuffie's eyes widen and she tried to apologize before she noticed something.

A speedo.

A red one.

And it looked like it was on the verge of bursting from its contents.

And the all the women looked over and the commotion got a good look at the waiter's tool and instantly rocketed to the ceiling and walls from the blood gushing out their noses. Some of the men fainted with tented pants and a wet spot. The rest turned away in disgust, well, mostly with shame too.

Yuffie immediately tried to pull his pants and crouched down to pick up his pants however the gunner turned alarmed at sudden movement and his speedo-covered penis smacked the ninja in the face.

Yuffie froze as her face turned red before she fainted, her body and face sagging forward on his lower region.

Vincent turned to the barmaid, "Never again."

The barmaid stared at all the fainted customers before nodding numbly, "Yeah, you're not doing this ever again."

"No. I meant making me wear a speedo."

"…oh."

"…can you help remove Yuffie, I think she rubbed her face on my crotch."

"Oh, come on, she looks so happy!"

"NOW."

VvV

And that concludes my second chapter of my story. Sorry with the late updates, I have plenty on my plate so please bear with me.

Please review or comment, it would be very much appreciated.

Ciao,

I am NRG

**End of Transmission**

Ps. No women or men were hurt in writing this chapter nor do I own any of Final Fantasy VII characters and else.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

These Strange Affairs

XxXxXxXxX

"Yes! Yes! YES!"

Yuffie screamed into the night, her voice carried on the evening air to the next three blocks waking everyone in its path.

Tifa jumped out from her bed while Cloud followed, trying to hold back his girlfriend, "Let go of me, Cloud! I'm going to shut her up! Permanently!"

The ex-Soldier's was groaning as his girlfriend's massive strength had forced him to dig his feet into the wooden floor, splinters digging his heels, "I'm pretty sure, Vincent will knock her out again!"

"I'm not waiting for him to fuck her to smithereens!" hissed Tifa, Cloud sighed before the whole bar shook, the two lovers looked at each other.

"What was that?"

"I don't know."

The door swung open before Denzel ran in and threw his arms around them, Tifa and Cloud stared at the boy as he began to speak gibberish.

"Slow down! What are you saying?"

"Vincent…Vincent went into Yuffie's room with a roll of duct tape and a bottle of lotion!"

Tifa stared at him before whispering to Cloud, "About time."

XxXxXxXxX

"Hey, Teef, how did you and Cloud hook up? I mean Cloud never seemed to forgive himself about stuff for a long time."

Tifa silently dried a pair of shot glasses before setting it on the drying mat, she turned to the ninja,

"It took some time for Cloud to come around. He always seemed to find something to keep him busy so he would not constantly stay in the bar. Before Denzel was cured, Cloud hardly answered his phone and only stick around for so long." The bar maid said quietly, stuffing liquor into the cabinet and beer into the fridge. The ninja frowned,

"I remember the not answering the phone part. I left a dozen messages about borrowing materia and clues where Vincent was hiding. He hardly made a peep about either."

The bar maid rolled her eyes, the crimson gun slinger was always on the ninja's mind almost as frequent as materia but that was Yuffie.

"So…how's the sex?" asked Yuffie, grinning. Tifa blushed and continued cleaning, "What I do with Cloud has nothing to do with you."

"Aw, come on! You guys hear Vincent and I romp!"

"Like we wanted to hear Vincent subdue you when you're feverishly masturbating!"

Yuffie made a mock surprised angry face, "For you information, I was not touching myself in any way! I was having vivid dreams of Vincent taking me to heaven with a side trip to Materia Land!"

"Too bad he couldn't leave you in heaven…"

"Bleh!" Yuffie childishly stuck her tongue at her sister figure, "You always assume that I only sex on my mind."

This time Tifa made the mock shock face, "Of course, how silly of me to think the Great White Rose of Wutai was just a nympho."

The ninja gave an irritated look at the bar maid, she chuckled, "So, our boys aside. How's your shaky relationship with Shelke?"

Yuffie rolled her eyes at the mention of the name, despite knowing who she was, Yuffie was confident that Vincent would choose her over the copy of Lucrecia.

_I mean, how could you deny your desire for this body? I may not be as busty and womanly curved as Boobs, but I have a lot of desirable features. I'm a solid B if not borderline C, I have a narrow waist and blossoming hips and nice legs to boot! And who could ignore my goddess face and lovable attitude? I'm what Vincent desperately desires even if he doesn't know it!_

"Back from Materia Land yet?" quipped Tifa, Yuffie shook herself back to reality before pouting her lips,

"You ruined my—"

Tifa shooed the ninja away and grabbed a wet rag, "I don't need to hear your day dreams about our friend."

Yuffie puffed her cheeks.

XxXxXxXxX

"Hey, Vince, which looks better?"

Vincent lowered the newspaper low enough to peer at the little ninja trying dresses…in his room…again.

"This." Holding out a white blouse with some frills and flowery design, "Or this?"

It was skimpy yellow bikini top.

Vincent folded the newspaper and setting it on nightstand, "Why the bikini top…and why are you asking my opinion?"

"Cause, Vinnie."

Vincent raised a brow, "Cause why?"

The ninja huffed finding the gun slinger less than helpful and not taking a hint either, Vincent resumed reading.

She turned back at the mirror noticing something. Slowly peeling her top and staring at her bra clad chest she tilted her head back and forth noticing something off.

"Hey, Vince, can you come here? Something's wrong…"

"I'm sure your breasts are the same size as the last time you ogled at it." Was his reply behind the newsprint, Yuffie shot him a look.

"Get over here, this is important."

Vincent sighed and set aside his paper and got up from his comfortable chair, he had forgone his red cloak and made his way to the ninja who was busy staring at her sizable cleavage.

"What is it?"

"Look."

Vincent resisted the urge to go back to his chair and read but if it was enough to rile up Yuffie, he might as well take a look. He peered at her bosoms, her bra looked a tad too small and her breasts were smothering the space between them fairly well. Other than that, her breasts were fine.

_Ugh, she better not go off and cackle about getting me to look at her breasts…_

"What's the problem?"

"Vince…I think…" Yuffie mumbled turning at the mirror and staring her reflection, her skin without a blemish or any other undesired feature.

Vincent stood there mute, waiting for the ninja to speak,

"I think…I think I grew a cup size…" she breathlessly whispered, she threw a fist into the air and gave a whoop before bouncing around his room and miraculously not breaking a single item in the room.

Vincent resisted throwing the bra clad ninja out his door but Yuffie was always concerned about her feminine features. If being a cup size bigger made her happy, then he could deal with her squealing and bouncing around his room…this time. He sat back in his chair and resumed reading, before he felt something soft and warm on his lap, he lowered his paper again to see a grinning Yuffie.

"So, Vincent, want to see how big my breasts are now? I bet they will fit in your hands nicely, even make you blush."

The ninja grinned lustfully at the gunner before he his face disappeared behind the paper again, "Maybe when you're a D-cup."

"Wha—? Why!" whined the ninja, Vincent sighed, _that should keep her off my back for a while…_

**One week later…**

"Ha! D-Cup! Now you have to grope me!"

"Yuffie…I can tell you are using pads."

"What? You think I would resort to something so underhand?"

"Yes."

"How would you—? Ah…Lucrecia used pads didn't she? Hm?"

.

The next day, Tifa was disappointed to find Yuffie nursing a lump on her head.

.

"Why did you tease him?"

"I couldn't help it, besides its not like he hit me or anything."

"So how did you get that?" Tifa asked, the ninja grinned,

"Well, let's just say one of us was being a little too rough."

"I didn't know you were a masochist."

"No, I fell of his bed after I tried to smother him with my breasts."

Tifa felt the tempting urge to roll her eyes, "You're unbelievable."

XxXxXxXxX

Vincent flipped his phone as it noisily beeped, Barrett's gruff voice came from the other line, "Hey, Valentine, I have a problem here!"

"What's the problem?"

"Your cat thief is here bothering me and my boys! Get down here and get her!"

"Put her on the line."

Vincent waited a minute before the energetic voice of Yuffie spoke, "Hey, Vinnie! What's up?"

"I heard you're bothering our friend."

"Oh, Vince, his making a big deal over something small! Besides, I heard there would be some great materia here to plunder!"

Vincent could already tell she was not going to leave them alone anytime soon, so he said something he wasn't proud of…

"Well, Yuffie, you're going to miss out on some rare materia I found while I was cleaning out my coffin. I was going to give you one but I guess it'll just have to be on display."

_That should get her running._

"No thanks!"

_What the…?_

"Are you sure?"

"Yup!"

"…." _What else can I get her to leave…_

"Yuffie."

"Yeah, Vinnie?"

"I'm half naked."

The next thing Vincent heard was the phone dropping and receding footsteps. Barrett's voice sparked from the other line,

"Why the hell you drop my phone? Vincent what the heck did you say to her? She went running out at top speed, glad but not sure where she's going."

"I just…never mind." Vincent stopped before closing his phone.

Just then the door burst open revealing a sweating Yuffie, her eyes almost crazed, her clothes soaked with both dirt and sweat.

"Vinnie…Vinnie…why do you have your clothes still on…?" Yuffie asked in her sweetest voice, her whole body trembling from both her travel and excitement.

Vincent took a moment to look at her before jumping out the window…

XxXxXxXxX

Vincent rubbed his temples, his email account was stating that he had to periodically change his password to avoid being compromised.

The gunner drummed his fingers on his desk, thinking of a suitable password, something no one could guess that could be linked to him in an exposed way.

_What could work…my current password should work, maybe if I changed it a bit…_ the red gunslinger stared at the computer screen,

…

**0therepentingman0**

…

Vincent began to type aimlessly coming up with solid passwords:

…

**0furiousgunslinger0**

**0redsharpshooter0**

**0nevermissangel0**

**0bulletstormgunner0**

**0chaosshellspitter0**

…

Vincent started at the passwords before face palming himself, _why in the world does it have to be related to firearms in some way._

The gunner shook himself and tried typing up more suitable passwords, using a different aspect of himself, something more private and only known to him,

…

**0darkdashingdude0**

**0theunhappyman0**

**0theweepingwarrior0**

**0thesinfulman0**

**0sleptfor30+years0**

…

Vincent stared at the short list, his brow twitching uncontrollably…_do…do I really think of myself like this…? Ugh, never mind… Maybe something outrageous would better…_

_**I never knew Valentine…you pussy.**_

_Chaos..._

Growled Vincent, his inner demon was the only entity that could walk away calling him a cat. A deep chuckle rang in his mind, the demon contemptuous made light of the situation, something that not only annoyed him but then again it was not like Chaos to talk to him.

_Unfurl your tongue, demon._

_**Don't you mean wings? Hah, while I do like causing a little 'chaos' to you, my fleshy container, I do find your lack of success…disturbing.**_

Vincent raised a brow, _is that comment suppose to mean something?_

_**Why, yes it does. **_Deadpanned the demon, Vincent rubbed his forehead, _great, yet another headache to attend to._

_**You wretched mortal, I lend you my powers in your time of need and this is how you treat your benefactor? **_

_Chaos, if you're just going to bitch at me because I didn't say 'Thank you, for turning me into the monsters Hojo shoved into me' then you are very much mistaken. And now if you can go crawl back into the dark recess of my mind I need to finish securing my account._

_**Mortals and your mundane…bah, do what you will.**_

Vincent sighed as the oppressive presence left his mind and continued think of a suitable password,

…

**0cerberus0**

**0deathpenalty0**

**0silverarrow0**

**0magicarp0**

…

Vincent let out an angry sigh, the sudden urge to flip the table in comedic rage was quite tempting at the moment, _why can't I come up with a decent password!_

_**You wretched mortal! Stop your infernal bitching!**_

Without warning, Vincent's arms shot forward and began typing furiously into the keyboard, before he regained control of himself.

Vincent took a moment to compose himself before noticing the monitor had announced the change and save of his new password, _what in the world did you type CHAOS!_

_**You can thank me in the morning. Don't try to wake me up till then…**_

Vincent spent the next hour mentally demanding Chaos to tell him the password, but the demon remained silent, until the sound of it snoring affirmed that the demon really didn't give a fuck.

Vincent grumbled and went to bed, hoping Chaos would tell him in the morning like it had said…

**-Morning-**

Vincent sat on the bar eating a piece of buttered toast with a cup of steaming coffee, Tifa hummed as she tidied the bar, ready to open it in 10 minutes. Vincent bit into his toast, his mind still replaying what Chaos had done, _what could that thing do anyways? I doubt there were computers in its time or wherever it came from…_

Feeling sure his reasoning was solid, Vincent finished his breakfast before stampede of footsteps came from the stairs, Tifa planted her hands on her hips at the person.

"Yuffie, how many times do I have to tell you: DO NOT COME RUNNING DOWN THE STAIRS!"

"But Boobs this is important!"

"It better be!"

"Vincent's account password was, er, well, it was kinda embarrassing."

Tifa gave her a glare, the ninja hopped back in fear, "It had my name and his name and some erotic fantasies involving chains, whips, gags and lotion."

"And how and why would you guess my password?"

"…I do it every morning."

"Wait, Yuffie, so you got into his account?" asked Tifa, the ninja nodded, "Sure did."

"You're messed up, Yuffie." "Not as messed up as you, Vinnie." Winked Yuffie.

XxXxXxXxX

Vincent was enjoying the quiet sound of the night, staring at the moon, the red gunslinger silently breathed out a deep sigh, _peaceful…not like…years ago…_

His gaze remained unchanged before something suddenly block his vision, slowly reaching for his face he yanked out a skimpy white thong, his eye brow twitched.

_Yuffie, I swear if you did this…_

Before his murderous thought was finished a voice called into his room, "Hey, Vincent, did any of my laundry by chance went into your room?" asked the bar maid, the gunslinger sighed, _well, at least it's not Yuffie's…but it's still not any better._

Vincent was about to set the undergarment aside before Yuffie entered his room, her cheerful face instantly locked on his, "Vinnie!" then on the white thong he had held in the air, her eyes widen revealing her storm gray eyes.

She glared at him, "So, it's okay to have Tifa's thongs, but not mine!" She reached behind her and whipped out a rolling pin.

This would be the only time Vincent found himself blubbering a weak explanation to the ninja as she threatening marched across the room and proceeded to beat him like she was his wife.

XxXxXxXxX

"Hey, Vincent, I noticed you're not taking those afternoon walks like you used to."

"The female populace ends up stalking me. I find it an unhealthy habit on their part so I have cut it out of my routine."

"You know, I could follow you on your walks, it will show that you're off the market AND have some class in choosing women."

"Yuffie, I have a feeling you had a hand in this."

"Vincent. Do you think I would let other women near you?" the ninja quietly said, narrowing her eyes at the gunslinger.

"…I choose to retract my previous accusation."

XxXxXxXxX

Cloud happily breathed out a sigh as he drove Fenrir at top speed, having done seven deliveries since dawn, he was happy to go back home.

_Home…is it right to call it that? I mean, Tifa and I are in better terms than ever…my past has finally put to rest…_

Cloud smiled underneath his collar, his goggles shining at the setting sun. He cranked Fenrir up another gear and zoomed across the dusty wastelands that the world has been accustomed to. But spots of green began to appear, soon the place will recover, _just like I did._

Cloud was on top of the world, he could already see the city, and in an hour, Tifa.

And a cold beer.

XxXxXxXxX

"Tifa?"

"Yes, Denzel?"

"What is S&M?"

"…its candy…for adults."

"Oh, okay."

"Its not for everyone, okay, Denzel?"

"So, does that mean you and Cloud don't like eating it sometimes?"

"…yeah. Listen, Denzel, let's not talk about this subject every again…unless you Aunt Yuffie is here."

"Ah! That's where I heard it from!"

"…YUFFIE."

XxXxXxXxX

Vincent was peacefully loading Cerberus with hollow-points, inspecting the cylinders and hammers of the triple barreled gun.

Without warning, the door flew open revealing a sweaty and terrified Yuffie clinging to the doorway. Her hair stuck to her face and every breath caused her chest to heave at her exertion.

"Vincent…there's zombie all over place! We need to evacuate the city!"

The gunslinger stared at the ninja, "Yuffie, if this is one of your sex fantasy scenarios again, I am not falling for it."

The ninja began to whine and attempted to drag the crimson man out of his room when several screams of people rang through the air.

…

"ZOMBIES!"

"Ahhhhhhh! Nooooooo!'

"Shit! I shit my pants! Argh!"

"…I knew I should of stayed home."

"The writer is an asshole!"

"I don't get paid enough for this!"

"Listen lady, I don't care how much you want to eat my flesh, I have rights. AAAHHHHHH!"

"Getting eaten by zombies are so mainstream."

…

Yuffie froze in fear before her hand slacked; alarmed Yuffie looked around before spotting Vincent armed to the teeth with zombie slaying weapons.

Yuffie stared in amazement as the gunslinger had forgone his red cloak and opt a red vest over his black attire. His vest had several pockets filled with a variety of bullets, a set of throwing knives overlapped each other over his right shoulder while his left had the Death Penalty slung, a belt of bullets formed an X over his torso. Two pistol holsters hung on each side of his hip, with a mean looking foot long dagger strapped to his right thigh, his foot gear was replaced with combat boots however it was still studded with the metal plates. His left arm gauntlet had additional attachments, a hidden under blade whipped out (from Assassin's Creed) and the once smooth surface was riddled with studs and spikes but would not hinder mobility at all. He had a night vision, thermal and multi-spectrum optical piece positioned over his signature red wrap, along with two of the following: frag, smoke, flash bang grenades, flares and glow sticks. He had a small pack on his back carrying more valuable gear that he could not have on his exposed bodice. His whole get up along with gear and firearms would slow him down, but he would tank anything that got in his way.

Yuffie was amazed on how well prepared he was. Yuffie gave the gunslinger a big, cheerful smile and a crimson blush, "My, I never knew my Vinnie was so prepared. It makes me feel silly getting riled up all over this zombie outbreak."

Vincent chuckled, "I made this in case you went into another of those _episodes_. But it's reasonably equipped to take on a zombie apocalypse." As he walked past the dumbstruck ninja.

"That no funny Vinnie!" Yuffie yelled at the gunner before the sound of rapid gunshots were fired, Yuffie grumbled following the gun touting man.

"Can I at least get a gun? I'm tired of throwing my Conformer!"

XxXxXxXxX

Vincent Valentines was introduced to the wonders of the cell phones.

Yuffie: Give me materia!

Yuffie: Give me materia!

Yuffie: Give me materia!

Yuffie: Give me materia!

Yuffie: Give me materia!

Yuffie: Give me materia!

Yuffie: Give me materia!

Yuffie: Give me materia!

Yuffie: Give me materia!

Yuffie: Give me materia!

"Damn it, Yuffie! Stop texting me!" roared Vincent, shaking the 7th Heaven bar. Tifa expertly caught the 28 falling wine glasses only missing Cloud's favorite glass beer mug.

XxXxXxXxX

Yuffie stretched over Vincent's bed, the said bed owner stared at the ninja as she continued to roll around the bed rumpling the covers and mashing the pillows. Vincent sighed at the sight of his once glorious bed.

"Go to your own bed and make it a mess, Yuffie. I already allow you to come into my room, I won't have you make it as if a tornado went through the place."

Yuffie gave him a huff, pouting her lips, in an attempt to look slightly offended, "Oh, Vinnie, you're no fun! Don't you want your bed to smell like me when you fall asleep?"

Vincent's eye brow twitched before he yanked her out of bed, Yuffie quickly smothered herself into his arms causing the both of them to fall over in a heap.

"Yuffie…" growled Vincent as she continued to rub herself all over his torso, doing her best to get both her breasts and floral shampoo scent on him. Before he could untangle her from his person, Tifa's head popped through the door.

"Hey, Vince, lunch is rea…dy…" she said noticing the ninja and ex-Turk on the floor. She sighed as the ninja gave a bright smile and a good job hand gesture.

"…yeah. I'll leave a plate for both of you…" and the barmaid promptly left.

Vincent shook his head on what had transpired, he looked at the nuzzling ninja with narrowed eyes, "I shouldn't have been talked out of my coffin…"

XxXxXxXxX

Yuffie was off on another materia hunt, from the numerous encouragements from her friends and accidentally spiking Vincent's afternoon wine, promising not to steal any from anyone. The young ninja explored an abandoned orchard, several trees had been hacked down leaving stumps and the withered remains. She frowned at the sight, still walking forward before noticing the frequency of stumps increased before she no longer saw trees but a sea of stumps.

Yuffie cast a wary over the butchered orchard, feeling very exposed in the open. Without warning a score of javelins came soaring from the distant trees, it was only her trained reflexes and readiness that saved her, flinging her Conformer at volley slicing through the projectiles easily. To her surprise several more javelins came soaring from the trees, smashing against her Conformer and forcing it to wedge itself into a stump.

Cursing, the ninja made several back and side flips to evade more deadly projectiles before the ground underneath her violently burst open spewing forth several more javelins. Yuffie felt one point nick her elbow and hip as she flung herself onto the ground and rolled away as the ground she touched began to crumble and spikes protrude from the cracks.

Using her rolling momentum she was able to send herself into the air and land on a stump, her eyes scanning her surroundings. Yuffie silently cursed as her choice weapon was a great distant from her, _damn it…no weapon and I have no idea where my enemy is…and what's with all this javelins!_

Her thoughts were soon interrupted as a pillar of fire erupted in front of her, she quickly raised her arms in defense from the heat and light of the flames. The flames quickly died leaving a black cloaked figure in front of her, standing on a charred stump as well. Yuffie narrowed her eyes at the figure; she tensed as the figure raised its hooded front at her, a spear tip winked out of the folds.

Without a second thought, Yuffie dashed for her weapon, in the corner of her eye, the spear head came rocketing after her. Front flipping, she watched as the spear head was actually attached to a chain at the end as it missed her a mere inches away, landing on a stump she sprinted forward and yanked her Conformer out of the wood, sending splinters flying all over the place.

Facing her opponent again, she was mildly surprised the figure had forgone its cloak revealing an uniform that combined armor plating and black garments. Its face was covered with the same black material leaving only the eyes to be exposed with protective face plates covering the mouth and forehead.

Without a doubt in Yuffie's mind she was fighting a ninja and an experienced one, she was tense all over, she could feel the opposing ninja's aura for violence as it yanked on its chain reclaiming its weapon.

_Gotta get some information out of this ninja…who ever it works for will pay for attacking me!_

Yuffie, still on guard, spoke to the stoic ninja, "If you know what's good for you, get out of my face before I punch it in!"

The ninja made no move or inclination that it heard Yuffie's threat or cared, it however hopped onto a stump, closer to its counterpart. Yuffie tighten her grip on her Conformer, as the figure gave a piercing scrutinizing glare, its eyes as she found out was completely white, its muscles around its eyes tighten.

"**You are…Yuffie Kisaragi…"**

Yuffie was taken back, but did not show her surprise to the ninja, she remained passive. The ninja glowered at her its blank eyes burned with untold fury.

"**Do not waste my time, bitch…though, my time is not to be worried about…"**

"And why not?"

The ninja chuckled at her, the act infuriate her, as if he was an adult and she was a child, _I'm going to tear that stupid mask off and I'm going to imprint my fist into his face!_

"**Because my comrades are butchering your little band of misfits as we speak. The best part, Yuffie Kisaragi, none of them was expecting us. Like you."**

****XxXxXxXxX

And bam! Another glorious update for you, my avid readers.

Sorry for the late update, my summer has not been easy to deal with as of late and my update speed has been considerably compromised. The next update will be my Pokemon story so look forward to that if you are reading that also.

I have decided to take this story in a new direction rather than fragments and pieces of Yuffie and Vincent's affair so the story will be much more consistent.

The same old drill: review, review, review!

**End of Transmission**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Fight!

**XxXxXxXxX**

Yuffie glared at her assailant; gripping the Conformer with enough force she was afraid she would bend the metal. The ninja across her began to silently shrug its shoulders until she understood it was laughing at her, Yuffie ready herself then launched forward landing a solid kick in the ninja's abdomen.

"Argh! You bitch!" it snarled before whipping its weapon at her. Yuffie flipped away before throwing her Conformer making the ninja to hastily dodge it and gave chase to Yuffie once she caught it.

The two ninjas began trading blows from their respective weapons or when they decided to go close-quarters with each other. Yuffie luckily never got hit by the ninja's weapon but suffered several punches and kicks, the opposing ninja was not so lucky, it received two shallow cuts on its torso and arm along with a fist imprint in its armor and a kick to the knee cap.

Feeling for a materia to use, Yuffie cursed as the ninja took the opportunity to attack her. Flinging her Conformer before narrowly evading the ninja's swipe, Yuffie fished out a Bolt 3 materia before catching her weapon.

"Take this, you bastard!" Yuffie yelled before sending a fork of lightning at the rogue ninja, it dodged the initial attacks but gets struck with a bolt. Grunting, the rogue ninja made one last effort to injure Yuffie, who skillfully dodged it, before promptly leaving via a pillar of fire.

The rogue however made one last proclamation over the roaring of the flames, "You crazy bitch! I'll kill!"

"Yeah, I'll kill YOU!" Yuffie yelled back.

Huffing, Yuffie retrieved her Conformer before heading back to her friends, worried about what the rogue ninja had said during their fight.

She knew her friends could easily defeat any of those scoundrels, but she was still worried.

XxXxXxXxX

Vincent Valentine sat on his usual chair, inspecting his firearms again. Doing maintenance for firearms would be a hassle to some gunners, but not to the former Turk. It was strangely soothing, though if he was miraculously disarmed his hand-to-hand combat skills was nothing to sneeze at.

He gently spun his firearm once before putting it back into its hostler, making one of the bullets he was organizing tip over and roll.

With inhuman speed, he snatched it just as it fell from the edge of his work desk.

_My powers have diminished…somewhat…_

Sighing, Vincent carefully placed it back with the rest of it. He reached over to his side and picked up a dark green bottle with a faded yellow label, he rubbed his thumb on the print then it revealed the number 49.

_I'm going through these bottles like hot cakes…better slow down._

Vincent thought before uncorking it with a golden finger tip and took a mouthful of the bottle's content. Wiping his lips, he corked it again and set aside just as the window in his room cracked. With inhuman speed he stood on guard his hand already on the hand of his firearm, his garnet eyes set on the glass window, a long crack cutting diagonally through it.

"What in the world…?"

The gunner's thoughts were broken when another diagonal opposite to the first one came to being, Vincent whipped his gun out ready for an attack.

Without warning he felt someone kick him in his back sending him tumbling into the window, shoving his arm forward, he felt the glass and wood shatter as he fell through it. He turned himself amidst the shards of glass and splinters of wood, his gun aimed at the ruined window.

Something black leaped out following him, it was looked like a man covered in black goop. Vincent didn't waste time wondering how the heck it was able to catch him off guard like that and planted 12 rounds into the attacker with his Cerberus in rapid succession.

The thing screamed and exploded, Vincent grunted as he forced himself to narrowly land on his feet.

"What was that?" Vincent muttered, before he felt another kick to his back coupled with several clawing swipes. The red gunner smashed forward not expecting so many sudden attacks.

"What is this? I thought you were the warrior everyone praised and worship you to be. Pathetic." Spatted a man's voice, towering above him.

Amidst the pain, Vincent felt anger well up inside, just like he felt for Hojo. Rolling to his side, Vincent aimed Cerberus at his assailant ready to blow the person's head off. The man roared and Vincent felt his gun retched from his hands with terrifying strength from the power of the kick from his attacker.

Vincent quickly kicked the man's shins delaying him enough for him to get back on his feet, the man was covered in all black but his eyes were completely milky white. He looked like a ninja, though from a different era and time from the ninja he knew, he snarled and lunged at him.

The two went into a flurry of punches, kicks and slashes, with Vincent in the losing end. The ninja grabbed his cloak and flung him against the side of another building with impunity. Blinking back lights that swarmed over his vision, Vincent was sure that throw would have killed a lesser man; he staggered to his feet just in time to block a series of punches and kicks.

"Fight, Valentine!"

"You asked for it!"

Ducking low, Vincent gave a devastating sweep kick, making the ninja tumble to the side, but not before he planted his gold plated fist into his face as he fell. Not waiting for his attacker to recover he sprinted to his gun on the ground, reloading it and took aim at the ninja.

The ninja paused long enough to see Vincent fire the first few rounds before it suddenly flashed to the side, the bullets harmlessly passing it. The ninja pulled out a nasty looking sickle and darted towards him as Vincent fired at him.

And just like earlier the ninja blurred away from the shots, Vincent pulled the trigger again and heard just an empty click. Frustrated, he put it away and ran forward to meet his attacker.

XxXxXxXxX

Cid Highwind happily took a long draught from the bottle presented to him, the bar was mostly empty and he was enjoying the end of the day peace.

"Ah, this is the life." He sighed, taking another hit of the bottle.

However, his peaceful afternoon was interrupted when he felt a rough tap in the shoulder, a gruff voice spoke out,

"Am looking for Highwind."

The pilot sighed, shaking his head and turning to the fella,

"I'm Highwind, the fuck you want?"

Cid's eyes widen as a spiked fist came straight for his face, thankfully he hadn't drank so much that his reflexes wasn't that impaired. But it was still a close call.

Cid planted his boot to the attacker's belly sending it reeling back, the bar keep and its occupants would have ignored the brawl, as it was common, but when the stranger pulled a buzz saw everyone scurried to safety.

His assailant had a yellow trench coat, wearing all black in the inside and a painted mask that looked like a scarecrow, the buzz saw revved at him. Cid pulled his Venus Gospel out, ready to defend himself. He stepped forward, reached over and took another swing of the bottle before smashing it on the floor

The barkeep gave him a 'WTF Seriously?!' face from behind the counter. The pilot ignored him.

"I don't know the fuck you are or what the fuck is your problem with me. But you're dead, motherfucker!"

"The same to you!"

The two leaped forward, their two weapons colliding into a mess of sparks, the screams of grinding metal against metal filled the bar. Someone in the bar cheered.

XxXxXxXxX

Cloud Strife and Tifa Lockhart were busy tending to the bar, the regulars filed in, had the usual and went about their normal routine. Newcomers usually came by seeing as the place was pretty popular, the attractive barmaid another reason to come.

However, no one dared to get fresh with Tifa with Cloud looming nearby, his main sword on the counter and the swords that he linked to it leaning against the wall. The same could be said about the former Soldier, as the single, flirtatious ladies watched themselves with the ass-whooping bar maid close by.

Tifa gladly filled and handed out orders while Cloud took care of the dishes and the empty tables. It all seemed like just a regular day.

Then they heard a loud crash followed by gunshots, more crashes and loud grunting and things being broken, presumably a chair.

Tifa shot Cloud a worried look and the Soldier quickly retrieved his swords and ran for the door. Just as his hand grasp the doorknob, Cloud was sent barreling back as the door splintered away as a chiseled muscular forearm bashed said Soldier.

The bar occupants screamed and hurried away as the poor door was broken further before a silver haired, maniac eyed muscular man walked in. He wore no shirt, his loose gray pants slightly restraining as muscles flexed, several belts wrapped his waist and a chain snaked from one pocket and into the other from behind.

"Where is Tifa Strife and Cloud Lockhart?!"

Tifa stared while Cloud shook his head, removing the debris and making sure he had the stranger right. A customer couldn't help but snicker.

Without warning the man blurred from his place and planted his fist into the unfortunate customer, blasting blood and body matter to the wall behind the fallen.

"Anyone else wants to be a smart ass?!"

Tifa walked over and helped Cloud up, her line of sight always on the brute, who swung his head to all the frightened people.

Tifa slipped on her gloves as Cloud linked his swords together garnering the brute's attention, he smiled evilly at them,

"Seeing as you two are the only ones shitting themselves, I take it you two are the ones I am looking for."

Tifa didn't waste time talking before she leapt forward and slammed her fist into the side of his face sending him flying into the wall, shaking the whole bar. The customers screamed and hurried out the door, not wanting to be part of this bar brawl.

Cloud watched as Tifa shoved tables and chairs aside until the brute flung a table at her only to have Tifa shatter it with a single punch. The man laughed at sight before charging at her, Cloud narrowed his eyes and intercepted the man, swing his sword at his neck.

The man narrowly dodged the blade, ducking as the razor tip snipped the top of his hair. Cloud saw his arm tucked and tensed, ready to punch his lights out again.

Until Tifa gave a sweep kick knocking him off balance before she delivered a haymaker to his face and sent him rocketing out the window.

"Thanks babe."

Tifa gave him a brief smile, before the two dashed out of the bar ready to confront the brute that had barged in.

XxXxXxXxX

Barret Wallace grunted as he rolled into safety behind a dumpster, before a hail of bullets dented the metal container. He peeked over and saw a young lady, dressed in what he assumed was a maid attire with a minigun pointed at his general direction.

"Hey! What the hell is your problem!?"

The attacker fired a few rounds at him, making the dumpster shutter and jingle violently.

"You're my problem."

Barret gritted his teeth as another hail of bullets rang out around him, he returned fire as soon as she had paused in her onslaught. To his surprise, she nimbly dodged in attack despite the huge weapon she was logging around with.

Barret continued his attack, the two exchanged a heated conversation of bullets as the crowd fled the scene.

XxXxXxXxX

Vincent panted, he could feel the cuts and gashes the ninja had given him as he leaned against the wall; blood slowly leaking out of the fabric of his clothes. He muffled a groan as he look over the side of the wall to see his rival in the same condition as him, his bloody sickle still in his hand while the other on his belly.

Vincent felt a bit satisfied knowing he hurt the bastard as much as he had hurt him, he readied Cerberus. Just as the ninja looked over the side, Vincent fired and charged.

As expected the ninja blurred away from the shots but could not dodge Vincent's armored fist making contact with his face. A muffled bloody shout came from the ninja, whipping the sickle wildly at him, Vincent easily evaded before firing again, forcing the ninja to blur away.

He had understood that the ninja had a sort of autopilot 'blur' whenever it saw projectiles or bullets coming after it, however if he attacked right after his 'blur' he would be defenseless to it. Not sure why, but it works.

The ninja grabbed a handful of smoke pelts and threw it on the ground forcing Vincent to leap out of the cloud of smoke and landing on a lamppost.

Vincent reloaded his gun just as the ninja leaped at him from underneath; the gunner immediately pointed the gun at him making him leap back into the smoke. Vincent hid a smug smirk, before leaping into higher ground and landed on the roof of a nearby building. He whipped out his phone and dialed his friends only to be sent straight to their voice mail, Vincent noted how bland their message as his eyes shifted around, on guard for the ninja.

"What is going on? Why is none of them answering their phones?"

To be proven right, Vincent felt his phone vibrate, looking at the screen he saw in the text box the words written:

**Incoming Call:**

**Yuffie**

Vincent stared at it for a moment, _how desperate am I to know what is going on…?_

Before he could make a choice, the demons in him screamed him to move, performing a expert combat roll, he saw a shadow fly past the space he once occupied.

Vincent pointed his gun at the bleeding ninja before him, the sickle now clean of the blood and grime. The gunner glared at his opponent,

"What is going on, ninja?"

The ninja chuckled, flipping the sickle and catching it, he pointed the blade edge at the gunner, "What else? It is the end of your little band of misfits."

Vincent pointed the gun from the ninja's chest to his kneecaps, if the bastard had enough balls to gloat in front of him, he better have some once he beats the stuffing and information out of him.

"And who are you call my friends a band of misfits?"

The ninja chuckled, "We have heard your exploits, but time has a way of dulling the shine of all weapons."

"Heh, you think you're better than us?"

"Of course, after all, we attacked you in sync, even now as we speak all my associates are attacking your friends. Every. Single. One. That is the glory of High Above."

**XxXxXxXxX**

And here you go my avid readers! I know this is a short chapter, but my ideas have been extremely split between the stories I'm trying to keep up with. That and personal agendas I have to keep up with, as FYU has mentioned.**  
><strong>

Look forward to the next chapter, whenever it comes.

Ciao,

I am NRG

**End of Transmission**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

High Above

**Brief:**

There will be violence! And phone calls will not be answered!

**XxXxXxXxX**

"So, Valentine, its time to get back into your crusty old coffin and make some room for your replacements and better."

Vincent glared at the upstart wannabe hero, "Believe me, I should have stayed in there if I knew an idiot like you were alive."

The ninja, once smug and arrogant, became hostile again gripping its sickle. Vincent beat him to it and flashed forward, smashing his knee into the ninja before slashing his face. The ninja screamed in agony from the assault, brandishing its sickle and nicking Vincent's torso and arm.

"Argh! You'll pay for that old man!"

"You'll get what's coming to you, boy."

The High Above ninja and the red gunner locked glares for the briefest moment before they were locked in flashes of slashes and stray gunshots. Vincent expertly ducked and whirled around, narrowly evading the sickle while slamming his plated foot against the ninja's body. The exchange between the two never left one above the other as they traded blows and injuries, blood seeped into their clothes and sweat poured down their muscular bodies.

During the exchange, Vincent raked his gauntlet through the ninjas face. Snarling, he brought the sickle down Vincent face, the gunner narrowly dodged the blade sinking into his skull as the blade carved its way down his forehead and diagonally across his face. Blood poured through the wound, Vincent gasped and fell back, his demons screaming as its host slowly drifted to slumber.

_Chaos! _

Chaos! 

**Chaos!**

The demons screamed in unison.

_**Don't worry I got this!**_

Vincent was numbly aware that he was looking at the sky with one eye as the taste of thick blood flooded his mouth, soon his sight turned crimson.

_**Host! Er, Vinnie? Vincent? Vincent! You have to channel my powers, with it only passively being used it you're going to die!**_

_Chaos…I feel…like…lead…_

_**Yeah well, that's how I would feel too if my face was torn open, er, hurt.**_

…_I…can't…_

Sensing its host was on the verge of entering the abyss, with some weird looking guy waving with a plate of cookies and a white bone scythe on the edge, Chaos screamed in hysteria.

_**I'm going to really die!? The fuck?! Oi! Vincent Valentine! Get. UP!**_

The only reply was a bloody gurgle, the other demons screamed in panic, Chaos was losing the battle to keep itself together, its host and unfortunate mind-mates (Yu gi oh abridged) alive.

The demon began to scream anything to keep Vincent in the land of the miserable living. The demons joined in trying to help Chaos.

_Hey, look meat!_

Free chainsaw cleaning!

**Punching bag!**

Chaos gaped at them, _**that's what you want you idiots!**_

The three looked at each other before they tried again.

_Er, female?_

Teenage Girl?

***grunt***

Chaos mentally slapped itself for employing these demons to keep Vincent awake, _**Gah! I'll do it! **_

To its disappointment and anger, the demons just remained where they were, _**if I wasn't trying to revive this mortal right now, I would strangle the whole lot of you!**_

Turning its attention back its host, Chaos tried to keep Vincent awake long enough for its powers to heal him. Not totally familiar with the mortals' desire and wants, Chaos began to list off things that the mortals and demons had in common:

_**Absolute power awaits you!**_

_**Nothing will be beyond your possession!**_

_**You'll rule the world!**_

Vincent felt himself fall deeper into the abyss, Chaos yanked its horns in frustration, Hellmasker, Galian Beast and Death Gigas stared for a moment before they screamed hysteria.

We're really going to die! And in this pathetic meat bag no less!

_Fuck this, I'm going to eat my way out!_

Using all its remaining powers, Chaos wrestled control over the other demons, forcing them into submission, _**none of you are leaving this body while I am in here. Besides…if I go down, you all go down, capiche?**_

_**NEVER!**_

Chaos grew two more arms before the demon slapped the other three demons with one swing, they fell cursing at the greater demon.

_**Now, shut up while think of something!**_

Vincent was dully aware that his inner demons were causing a ruckus, even what would seem his untimely demise, the blasted demons still wouldn't shut up.

_Bahumut's third nipple, shut up…_

Vincent groaned, causing the demons to turn to him, surprised. The red gunslinger's fingers twitched, the bleeding pausing before continuing again. Chaos grinned at the would-be insignificant actions to be something it was hoping to see, _**it seems as if our host has still a bit fight left in him.**_

_**He better have.**_

.

With Cloud and Tifa

.

The former SOLDIER and barmaid stood their ground at the rampaging intruder who had wrecked the bar. Having been thrown out, the man was clearly no longer in control of himself and his strength.

The man, in lightning speed lunged at him and Tifa, in attempts to make his fist make good friends with their faces or internal organs. His eyes were completely white, forth on the corners of his mouth and veins bulging all over his body, if he had sprouted horns and started snorting steam out of his nostrils you would think Cloud and Tifa were fighting a Minotaur.

Cloud turned his sword flat as the man planted a devastating punch on the blade, the force jarred the blonde, his muscles shivered as he shoved the man back. Skidding, he didn't see Tifa come from behind and smashed her knee into his back then delivering an elbow to the side of his head.

Surely the superhuman force Tifa had used on the enrage man would have left him dead, but the attack only served to pause him long enough before he reached behind and swung her into the bar window.

Cloud leapt just in time to catch Tifa, before the two of them crashed through the window, scattering glass and wood all over the place.

"Cloud." Groaned Tifa, getting off the blonde, Cloud winced, feeling a bit of glass poking through his clothes.

The two quickly got to their feet as the man outside roared and attempted to get through the busted window the two had made. Tifa scrambled to her feet and hastily kicked the man, he was nearly inside, sending him sprawled on the ground in a dusty heap. Cloud shook off shards of glass and wood, reaching for his sword as Tifa leaped out of the window and smashed fists with the enrage man.

"DIE!"

"No, you die!"

Cloud's heart shot up his throat as Tifa flew past his eyes into the side of the building, leaving a crater and deep cracks. The man charged at the crumpled form of Tifa only to be intercepted by an even enraged SOLDIER.

"You bastard!" roared Cloud, swing his sword in wide arcs and quick stabs at the man, who luckily dodged them and scampered away from the razor edge.

Cloud breathed heavily, his vision completely focused on the man that hurt Tifa, his vision was soon reddening with an all-consuming rage. The man notices the change and look of the blond and began to edge away, seeing this man would not give him quarter. However, he could not help but taunt the man,

"You've failed, SOLDIER. Like you have your whole life!"

The smug man felt his face break apart as Cloud's fist collided with it, ungodly strength behind it sent the bastard flying into a building. Its occupants screamed in terror just as the building smoked and then suddenly, in a thundering crunch, the building collapse onto itself.

.

Cid

.

Cid could hear the buzz-saw hacking through the chairs, tables and furniture that kept him and the psycho apart. He didn't know what the fuck was his problem, but clearly it had to do with all the exploits he and his friends had done over the years.

"Come out, old man!"

"Don't you fuckin' call me that, you don't know me, bitch ass punk!"

"I know enough that you're an old man who needs his glass of prune juice!"

Cid's vision burst with red when the ungodly drink was named, just as the psycho cut through the last furniture, the pilot gave one impressive round house kick to the man.

"TAKE THAT FUCKING PRUNE JUICE AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR FUCKIN' ASS!"

.

Barret

.

Barret huffed, barely standing from the show down between him and the mini gun wielding maid. She was slumped against the wall with bullet holes through her dress, some going into her, however she looked very much alive.

"Whoever you are…" started Barret, the maid looked up, blood dripping down her face.

"Me…? I'm you're end…"

Barret was not one for riddles, especially since he had spent the last hour running around, hiding, dodging, reloading, tripping and firing (not in that order) against the maid. She gave him a bloody smirk,

"…this is just the beginning…of all things."

With that Barret saw her skin slowly turning white, whiter than ivory and a blank Xerox paper, whiter than anything else he had seen. The whitest of the white's whiteness of white that ever was white.

Before long the maid had turned into a statue that cracked and collapse itself, leaving nothing of the original person.

Barret stood there, amazed and slightly afraid.

"Damn…what is going on?"

.

Yuffie

.

Huffed as she steadily made her way back to her friends, none of her phone calls to them was getting through. The call to Vincent she could understand and maybe Tifa and Cloud, if they were going at it like bunnies. But the rest?

_This wacko group is strong but…_

Yuffie whipped her head side to side, _no! Stop thinking like that! Argh, why won't anyone answer?!_

While the ninja ran through ruffled thoughts she failed to notice she was being tailed by a dark cloaked figure.

.

Red XIII

.

"Come 'ere you little pussy cat."

"You must have been dropped as a child."

Nanaki raised a brow at the baffled look of the interloper of the land. His mismatched yellow and orange eyes darted all over its red body then to its flaming tail.

"It's a fuckin' talkin' pussy cat! Shet…my cousin's brother's uncle was right! Them pussies do exists!"

Nanaki's vision darkens at the buffoon before snarling, the fool leapt to his feet, three spears whirling around him like a snake.

"You best watchin' who you snarl at, I might be he to neuter you."

The red beast didn't wait for the idiot to continue talking, not with all the insults it had spouted at him. Teeth bare and claws ready, the two collided.

Spears was swung, fangs sinking into cloth and flesh, claws digging into the earth and stone, the two went on for minutes, then hours.

Sweat poured down their physique, hot breath vented and blood ran down their bodies, but neither yield nor continued. They stared into each other's eyes, blood pounding and hearts racing.

"Not bad talking red flaming pussy. I'm so tired I…" he wheezed. Coughing and hacking up blood and spit.

Nanaki would have bit into his jugular if his body didn't protest defiantly against his course of action. He merely glared at the fool.

"And you still are a…"

The man gave a hard cough, interrupting Nanaki before the man continued, until he was drooling mixed blood and spit, his eyes were rolling in its sockets. He gave a bloody gurgle,

"I…you…next time…pus…"

Nanaki watched as the mad gave another mighty hack before he fell over and began to spasm. Then he was still. Nanaki stared at the man, then its eyes widen.

The man was no longer the one he had fought. Everything had changed about him, from body type, race, hair color, even the injuries he once had…

"What in the Gaia is going on?"

.

Vincent

.

The red gunslinger could hear the ruckus the four demons he kept over the chorus of voices that led to the abyss. Literally the Servant had brought his friends and, who he assumed, to be his girlfriend, an overly cheerful woman. There were others, some adults, others children, teenagers and a nympho.

They were all crammed in the little space provided opting the Servant to make it bigger and much more frightening. But if it wasn't for all their happy, stress-free and content faces and smiles, well the nympho chosen at that moment to flip a spiky haired girl's skirt open revealing a lacy panties and the two tumbling all over the place knocking down the group; Vincent would have never thought it was the path to the afterlife.

_Smiles all around huh?_

_**Better smiles then those dead vacant faces, so you better get up! That's the only way they'll leave!**_

_Wait you can see them…too?_

_**See and hear them, Valentine. Trust me, I may be a demon, but that woman over there is way worse.**_

Hey, heard that! Want me to come over there and teach you a thing or two about proper molestation and making people uncomfortable?!

…_**Okay, I'll shut up.**_

The nympho made a face before she continued her business, by that time a lady with monster arms dragged her away, threatening round house kicks galore. Another missy ran after the pair, she was carrying a watermelon.

Yesh, who the hell are those people?

_I don't know, but I don't want to be those guys._

"They're not that bad." "Yeah, they are loads of fun to watch." All five individuals saw two cloaked figures on the side lines, watching the exchange, they waved at them.

_Who the hell are those guys!?_

_**Don't look or make eye contact, they'll leave eventually.**_

Vincent noisy bloody gurgle had slowly eased, bleeding had began to slow and his wounds stitch itself back in a snail pace. However, Chaos was glad for it, in a few more hours Vincent would be fine and it would be out of peril.

Provided the ninja lying away from them did not rise before them.

_**Damn it, where is a skimpy clad ninja when you need one?**_

…_Yuffie?_

_**Your mate?**_ **Your girl?** Your wife?

_Arrooe?_

Vincent blinked as the light came back to his eyes, if dimly at best.

"What happened to you?"

"Yuf…fie…?"

"Yuffie?"

The figure tilted its head, a long black curtain of hair blocking its face.

"No…I don't think I'm this 'Yuffie'. Listen, I just treated the other person, but when I touched him he turned into black vapor and vanish…will you do the same?"

"…no…" he whispered.

The figure nodded before leaving his field of vision.

"That's good…then the family beheading axe will do its job."

**XxXxXxXxX**

Bam! Here is another chapter for all you avid readers! Updates are coming along, though not as quickly as I would want it, I've been running into road blocks after road blocks in both the fanfics and in reality. FYU, had rethought out the scenarios of the Code Geass story many times, looking for the best one to go with. The next installment is in the horizon, rest assured, in its 10K words glory.

It does take time for the both of us to make these chapters, FYU takes a bit more time, trying to weave them better than I would.

However, look forward to the next Pokemon chapter, by public demand, it will have a Lemon in it, that's right. You read that one word correctly. A lemon. Who will it be? I don't know who it will be, you choose.

So keep them eyes peeled, look out for these updates and review.

Ciao,

I am NRG

_**End of Transmission**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I'm a badass, just ask, my bloody axe

**Brief**

Nope. I'm not going to write one.

**XxXxXxXxX**

Vincent's eyes widen as the heavy axe was lifted into the air and hung there for what felt like an eternity. Chaos and the rest of his inner demons screamed at the sight before for them.

**NO! Not like this!**

_To be vanquished in this squishy meaty body, no!_

_**I don't care anymore.**_

_**SAY WHAT?!**_

.

With Yuffie

.

The young ninja's speed easily ate the distance of her destination, but that is if she had kept the pace. She wiped the sweat and blood that smeared her face, as her opponent smiled easily at her.

"Worried about your boyfriend? Don't worry, my friend will treat him tenderly...with her axe."

"Fuck you, bitch! Stay away from Vinnie!"

Yuffie swung her Conformer missing her enemy by mere inches, the woman giggled madly at the attempt and quickly got into a stance Yuffie grew to loathe.

"I'm going to return you back to your wee little friends in rags, maybe after I show case you to the town!"

"Not if I do that to you first!"

The woman gasped, her face slightly flustered, "My, so forward!"

"Wha? Ah! You bitch!" screamed a red faced Yuffie.

The woman smirked unsheathing five razors she held between her fingers, she licked her lips seductively, "Oh, I'm going to rip those clothes to pieces, like Gaia intended."

Yuffie didn't reply as the two fell into a dance of blades and curses. Blood ran down their bodies along with sweat, spit and grime as they traded blows, each one much more powerful from the last. Sweat poured down their backs and arms and curvy legs.

Yuffie ducked under a razor swipe from her foe before kicking the woman in her exposed side sending her skidding, she snarled and threw her razors forcing Yuffie to combat roll to the side, dust coating their moist bodies.

"Not bad, little girl, let's keep this dance going!"

"Then come at me, bitch!"

The woman laughed and rushed the ninja and the fighting continued.

.

With Cid

.

The old pilot stood over the buzz saw maniac, a bottle of prune juice lying a little ways off. Cid wiped her mouth with the back of his hand before spatting out a mouthful of blood. He whipped his head around expecting ninjas and whatnot to appear and cause even more trouble for him. Thankfully, none showed up, not even the group's lovable brat.

He smirked and triumphantly announced to the down man,

"I fuckin' told you...shove that fuckin' bottle up yo ASS!"

The man merely groaned before passing out for the third time.

Cid kept kicking the man trying to wrestle information out of him, but his method of interrogation needed work. Simply kicking a man while he was down was not the best way, Cid quickly found out.

But it didn't stop from kicking him for bringing up the ungodly juice.

"I said, who da fuck are you working for?!"

"Cid, that is enough! Can't you see my bar is nearly destroyed with you trying to run away from the prune juice!?"

"Shut yo mouth, barkeep! I didn't 'run away' I was strategically placing myself! So, right now this is between me and this little...shit?"

Cid stared at the blank space that the man once occupied before he saw him through the bar window. He took a girly tricycle from a nearby child and proceeded to peddle away.

"I'll get you for this, Highwind! I'm going to get the extra strength, extra large prune juice the next time we fight! I'll make sure you drink every last drop and make you crap your motherin' lovin' pants!"

"Bring it out you wimpy ass punk ass mother fucker!"

The man showed him the finger and peddle away. The kid caught up and whacked him with dolls and small fists.

Cid grinned to himself before he felt someone tapping his shoulder.

"Now what?"

Cid then gulped at the sight of the barkeep and an army of angry mothers with each a bar of soap.

"First your going to pay the bar." seethed the barkeep.

"Then were going to make the myth, 'Wash your mouth with soap' come true..."

"Ah...fuck."

.

With Cloud and Tifa

.

Tifa sat on a bar stool while Cloud carefully nursed her head, dry blood stuck to her skin as Cloud carefully examined the wound on her scalp. She fidget under his care, crossing her legs slightly and her delicate fingers erratically moving with Cloud being in such close proximity.

"Cloud, I'm fine, its just - "

"Tifa, he threw you and nearly made a building collapse on you."

"And how bout you? He used you like a battling ram and into a telephone tower."

The SOLDIER shut his mouth, Tifa's words didn't have any sting to them, but it still hurt Cloud. Tifa wrapped her gentle hands around his callous ones, their eyes met.

"I know you're worried about me, Cloud. But we've been through worse."

"We had our friends with us when those times happened."

Tifa smiled before she scowled, feeling Cloud apply a stinging salve on her scalp.

"I think that should do it."

She mutely nodded before the two turned their attention to the figure at the busted doorway of the bar. The intruder had made a real ruckus and scene in the bar. All the customers had hurried home, some even cursed and spat at the sight of the intruder.

The man had been beaten to a bloody pulp by the duo, however, before the two could finish him off, he began to jellify. Cloud's sword and Tifa's fist smashed into the jelly form, but to their surprise the jelly figure made no indication of feeling the blows. They concluded that the man had used the jelly to warp himself away safely, finding that the couple was simply too much for him to handle.

"Whatever is going on...it must not be only us."

"Let's get in contact with our friends."

Tifa grabbed a 'We are close' sign and hung it on the barely repaired door.

Cloud just stared at it. Then to the beautiful, busty barmaid.

"You think that will stop people from coming in?"

Tifa was about to respond before a forlorn sigh stopped the couple,

"Ah, man, closed already? I might as well go home then." a tired man stared at the sign for a moment before drudging home.

Cloud stared, mouth agape before turning to Tifa, "Wha-"

"Silence." smirked Tifa.

.

With Vincent

.

The axe gleamed evilly at the gunner, the girl made a sad and orgasmic face at the fallen warrior.

"Ah, such a beautiful face~. To chop off!"

**We are so screwed!**

What could possibly stop this woman!?

Vincent gave a glare before he decided to go in a dignified fashion, instead of kicking and screaming like most people do when an axe wielding girl hovered above them.

The demons screamed as the axe came crashing down.

Ring Ring Ring ~

Pause.

"...what?"

Ring Ring Ring ~

Vincent felt a heavy thud slam inches away from his face.

"Oh, my, a wild phone is using ring!"

...

_**Da faq?**_

The girl reached down and began to search Vincent's bodice, her soft petite hands gliding over the red draped gunner. The demons all watched, terrified and slightly aroused. Her hands wandered the foreign body, feeling a patch of skin, exploring folds of clothes and into deep warm pockets. Twice her hands teasingly glided over his flaccid member. The demons grunted at each touch.

_Damn, this bitch can work it._

Yeah, she can.

**Vincent, tell Yuffie to get some lessons from her.**

'And get my nuts pulverized? No, thank you.'

The gunner responded stiffly as the girl dipped her hands into his pant's pocket fishing out his phone.

"Ah, there you are!"

Vincent watched her fumble with the device, before she flipped it open uncertainly, "Ah, these things are so old fashion, I forgot we had this before. That's what happens when you're used to holograms and touch pads."

Vincent stored the bit of information away, it was the only clue he had on the girl and the attackers that pursued him and his friends, he was sure.

"Let's see, here is the call button," she chirped, "Hello~, you have reached this unfortunate person's number. Now, what do you want, bitch."

_**So blunt!**_

_**Shit, from nice to bitch in record time.**_

"Wha? Now, you listen here, bitch, I was here first so I get first dibs!"

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU HUSSY!"

_**...was that Yuffie's voice?**_

_I believe so._

**We are so dead.**

"Well, ha! I got him first, so I'm going to service him good! With my big...fuckin'...axe."

...

"SAY WHAT?!"

"See ya!"

She shut the phone and turned to the gunner.

"Whoever called was so~ rude. No respect!"

_**Bitch.**_

Vincent watched her lift her axe again, this time determined.

"This might sting a little."

.

With Yuffie

.

The young ninja gritted her teeth as she ran into the town, dodging people and vehicles before leaping from the ground to lampost to roof top. She scanned the place quickly before dashing to a figure lifting a behemoth of an axe.

_There!_

Yuffie flipped and leaped through the conveniently placed obstacles before tackling the axe wielding girl. She snarled and leapt to her feet, axe at the ready as Yuffie remained sitting on the rooftop, exhausted from her journey.

"That was really rude!"

"And the same to you, ya bitch! Ya slut!"

"..." the girl stared before she raised her axe and screamed, "Take that back! I'm a lady! A proper, graceful and innocent lady!"

"With that axe of yours? You're not fooling anyone, ya slut machine!"

The girl screamed hysterically and rushed at the tired ninja, Yuffie winked sadly at Vincent, seeing as she was all out of juice.

Vincent's face went livid, _YUFFIE!_

Without warning, Vincent shoved himself, grunting as he slid on the rooftop and clipped the axe wielding girl in the legs, the massive weapon tilted to the side and then came loose from her fingers. Falling to the ground from the rooftop.

"Noooooooooo!"

The girl wrestle herself off Vincent and leapt after it, the gunner pushed himself up and limped towards Yuffie, she smiled weakly, "Thanks for the save, Vincent, I knew I was a goner for sure, this time."

The gunner said nothing except hugged her fiercely.

The ninja, taken back, returned the warm hug, "Vincent..."

"If you do that every again, I'm going to start dating Shelke."

Vincent said in his most daunting voice.

That's right!

_Show her whose the alpha!_

**Yeargh!**

Vincent then made one high pitched gasp.

**"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY."**

Yuffie glared at the gunner. Her petite hand clutching his family jewels.

**_Oh, shit just got really awkward._ **

"...nothing dear."

"Yeah, that's what I thought you said."

Yuffie slowly removed her hand before grabbing his shoulders and planting a hot kiss, "Oh, Vinnie, you look so adorable when you're scared!" the ninja gushed, the demons and the gunner stared.

"I learned that from Patty Thompson, that's how she got Kid and her sister into a threesome!"

**I like where this is going.**

_Same here._

I second that.

Vincent and Chaos took a moment to compose themselves.

_**Me or you?**_

"Yuffie..." the little ninja's once delighted face turned to that of nervousness.

"Ah...but Vincent you do that scary face much better, ha ha."

Then it was dark.

.

Yuffie then found herself on her bed with clean clothes and feeling oh so clean.

"...did I just got a bath and changed?"

Vincent walked in, also changed.

"Yeah."

Seeing Vincent's overly stiff posture and red face Yuffie made a mock shock face.

"...did you do _naughty _things to me, while I was out?"

The gunner blushed a bit harder.

"You were smelly."

Yuffie made an angry face.

"Also, when did you get that tattoo?"

"...what tattoo?"

**XxXxXxXxX**

Another update with one more to go! Sorry, my avid readers about my overly late updates, you can read more on that on the Origin. This cliffhanger will get you thinking.

The next one is my Pokemon story. This update was in fact in my account, but I never got around to do the finishing touches. I've been real busy.

Ciao,

I am NRG

**End of Transmission**


	7. Chapter 7

(╯◕_◕)╯

**Chapter 7**

Just had some

And it was so good.

**XxXxXxXxX**

Kid stared at Patty and Liz as they dried themselves, he struggled hard only getting the rope that bind him tighten a quite a bit. He whimpered as Patty smiled sweetly at him, Liz just sighed causing her breasts to bounce,

"Damn it, Kid, how many times are you going to do this when we shower together?"

"I can't shower with you two! Your actions are not symmetrical! Even when you wash yourselves! One hand on your breasts and the other on your hip?!"

Patty giggled and Liz glared at him, "I don't care. I like how I shower, and if you don't like it, you can blindfold yourself while we do!"

"I can't do that! What if you didn't scrub yourself evenly?!"

"Oh, we have, Patty go on show him!" she smirked, and bounding forward was the younger Thompson, she hugged her Meister pressing her melons on him.

"See, Kid, all clean!" she chirped and his face redden, Liz smiled and walked over and join in pressing her still sizable ones against him and gently stroking him.

"See, all clean, now its time to get a bit dirty, don't you agree Kid?"

He was about to argue why shower in the first place until he felt a pair of soft lips on his thick member, he tried to look down but Liz held his head and kissed him.

"Just enjoy it Kid, you know its only going end our way~"

He sputtered an answer only to have the older Thompson silence him again with a kiss as Patty happily sucked him as the two french long.

.

"I knew dad always had interesting things to read!" whispered a raven haired boy in front of a laptop, he eagerly read the lines even as the nearby clock ticked away, it was well past midnight but Zephyr Valentine couldn't resist reading the fanfics that he found lying around this so called Internet.

He yawned and shook off his sleep, his garnet eyes read the erotic lines, his hands eagerly scroll down the page absorbing the smut he saw.

"Brother? What are you doing awake?"

Zephyr turned and saw a chibi figure that was his younger sister, Nymph Valentine. He shooed his sister away, "Go to bed, Nym, I'm reading, I mean studying."

She frowned and ran out of the room and into her parents room, her father blinked and saw teary gray eyes staring at him, "Daddy, why is Zephyr such a meanie?"

He paused, letting the question roll in his head, also taking account what time it was and what he was doing, he whispered quietly so his wife would not wake up,

"Your mom."

.

"Yuffie!"

"Gah!" yelped the little ninja, she looked around wildly. Vincent frowned, "Quit falling asleep while I examine you!"

"I can't help it. I keep imagine our kids."

Vincent frowned at the response, "I bet they take after you."

She stuck out her tongue as she felt Vincent gently finger her tattoo, something she knew would love to show her friends, if it wasn't somewhere so...private.

Vincent gently fingered her.

She meeped, and shot him a mock stern look, "Vinnie, be gentle!"

The gunslinger looked at her, "How about you tell me how someone tatto your ass without you noticing?"

Yuffie made a thoughtful look, "Sounds like only someone you could do!"

Vincent groaned and examined it again. If the scene wasn't so serious, Yuffie would have been busy trying to seduce and coax Vincent to bed her, minus the 6 months body brace result.

Vincent looked at the tattoo with a critical eye, noting nothing that was malicious in the effect nor was their anything else to the tattoo except for what was written. Yuffie proudly presented to him and he nearly walked out,

Spank Me

He sighed, his warm breath pressed against the delicate flesh and she shuddered, she shot him an impish face, "Ooo, someone is trying all sorts of foreplay."

"Maybe I should suspend you from the ceiling to get you in the mood?"

Yuffie gulped and buried her head in the soft mattress, "Vinnie, that's too much, please, be gentle with me."

The gunner rolled his eyes and continued to examine the tattoo, Yuffie turned to the side of her and asked, "So, what are you guys here for?"

Finn, Flame Princess, Marceline and Princess Bubblegum shrugged.

Lelouch answered, "Visiting." Before being smooched by C.C., Kallen, Kaguya, Shirley and Milly pouted.

Araragi Koyomi was about to speak but Shinobu and Senjougahara-chan slapped his mouth shut.

Death the Kid muffled a shout as he was tied to the bed with Patty and Liz taking sexual advantage of him.

Shichika and Princess Hitei smiled knowingly.

Allen Walker was busy eating a BLT sub while Road and Lou Fa argued.

Korra and Mako were sound asleep.

Amata and Zessica were snuggling.

Kirito and Asuna were tucking Yui-chan in.

Sakakibara-kun and Misaki-chan pressed there fingers to their lips.

Lala, Momo, Nana, Yami, Mea, Nemesis, Run, Yui, Tearju, Haruna, Rin, Mikado, Risa and the rest surrounded the poor (lucky) Rito.

Kyouya snuggled against Mori, Mao glared at him, Megumi-chan blushed, Shion-san massaged his shoulders, Kirara sniffed him and Tama ate a donut.

Kazuki, Rin, Yuna, Kuriko, Yamase and Shion were in a steamy hot pile.

Ash paused as he was in a lemon scene, Emma Joy, Dawn, Iris covered themselves. Lightning Guard, Tidal Sage and Mirror Mistress coughed to the side.

Yuusha and Maou linked their hands and smiled.

Akuto Sai carried his wives bridal style: Korone, Junko, Keena, Fujiko and Lily.

Mahiro tried to escape the arms of Nyaruko-san, Hasta-kun and Kuuko-chan.

Urabe and Tsubaki shared a rather wet kiss, saliva dribbling down their chin.

Furuya and Rea cuddled for each other's warmth. To an extent.

Tsumiki sat on Io's lap as he patted her head. So cute.

Naruto, Hinata, Shion, Sesame, fem-Haku, Ryuzetsu, Amaru, Princess Yuki, Shizuka, Tsunami, Ayame, Konan, Anko, Kurenai, Yuugao, Samui, Karui, Saara, Mabui, Kurotsuchi, Shizune, Mei, Fubuki, Guren, Kagerou, Tsume, Hana, Isaribi, Tsunade, Mikoto, Natsuhi, Hotaru, Tenten, Ino, Tayuya, Kin, Suzume, Yugito, Fuu, Shiho and Hanabi were...okay, they are just having an orgy. All that...

Karluk and Amir watched the sunset.

Naegi cuddled with Kirigiri and Ikusaba.

Tharja cradled a sleeping Robin, humming a tune that would one day be Noire and Morgan's lullaby.

Hajime played co-op with Nanami.

Lightning hugged Hope, no longer a boy but a young man.

Kusanagi nervously laughed as Erica, Liliana, Yuri, Ena and Athena cornered him on his bed.

Tatsumi tried to plead for mercy as Esdeath, Mine, Akame, Leone, Suzuka and Dorothea finally got all his clothes off along with theirs.

Shido had booked himself a date with Tohka, Kurumi, Origami and Yoshino.

Akito held onto Leila, his powers manifesting.

Yuffie and Vincent stared at all the couples.

"Who are you and how did you get in here!?"

But surprisingly, they did not even return a reply, they merely ignore the whole lot of them. Vincent shook his head and continue examining the tattoo while Yuffie huffed at being ignored.

"We should do something about them first."

"That can wait, besides, I doubt they're even real. A fabrication of reality and the author."

"I don't know, all that lovey dovey atmosphere don't sound fake to me."

Vincent sighed, his warm breath on her ass cheeks. She gasped, she peeked at Vincent looking at the tattoo with a magnifying glass, "Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Leviathan, Vinnie, its just a tattoo, its not like its mind control."

Vincent sighed again, she shivered before she muffled a scream, a sudden pain flaring on her bum.

She tearfully looked behind her and saw Vincent hand raised.

"WHAT THE HELL VINNIE!? I don't like being spanked! Do it gently and make me beg for it."

Vincent blinked slowly, Yuffie then glared at him.

"Why did you spank me?" she reached over and rubbed the redden glob, he responded as he lifted her hand, "Well, its gone."

"What's gone?"

"The tattoo."

The ninja looked at him quizzically, he pointed at the 11/10 butt. She saw nothing but a redden patch, Vincent slapped her bum and she eep, she tearfully looked again and lo and behold, there it was.

SPANK ME HARDER.

"Da faq!?"

**XxXxXxXxX**

If you notice I'm uploading the chapters in segments, you're not alone. I'm doing it on purpose. I'm gonna adopt this form of updating for a while till further notice. Its better than waiting weeks for a single update right?

All the cameos are just animes and cartoons that really hit me in the childhood, I mean heart. I bet you can't name them all! But seriously, name them all.

As always review, comment, PM, etc.

Ciao,

I am NRG

**End of Transmission**


	8. Chapter 8

**.**

**Chapter 8**

Why not harder?

**XxXxXxXxX**

Yuffie stared at the tattoo with relative surprise, Vincent raised his hand ready to smack her again, "Hey!" "...wut?"

She shot a puff cheek look at him, "Don't you dare do that Vincent Cerberus Valentine!"

"Cerberus?"

"What? I don't know what's your middle name."

"Thank Gaia for that."

Yuffie glared at him before getting up and donning her panties and shorts. Vincent looked away as she got decent, but that didn't last long as she leapt into his field of vision before she sexily put them back on.

Vincent shot her a glare, but did not look away, she would find some way to entice him albiet something even worse than this. She winked at him before she slipped the last bit before she smiled, "Liked what you saw?"

"Couldn't look away, could I?"

Yuffie pouted, "No need to be so cold Vinnie." He chuckled, "Hah, you like it Yuffie." She thought for a moment, "I suppose so."

Vincent smirked before he nudge Yuffie to leave the room, oddly enough the 7th Heaven Bar seemed empty, something that was definitely out of place for such a busy attraction.

"Where are Cloud and Tifa?"

Vincent paused before answering, "Well, they went to talk to Cait Sith, but apparently he is missing too." Yuffie blinked, "That needs both of them?"

Vincent paused, "Oh. Damn it, they gave me the slip again..."

Somewhere the couple sneezed.

The ninja shook her head, "Well, at least we have the whole place to ourselves...you what that means~"

"Yuffie. No."

"Come on! You so want too!"

.

**Cloud and Tifa**

.

Cloud felt a sudden shiver as did Tifa, they looked at each other despite their current state of undress.

"Do you think...?"

"Oh, damn it, we left them alone..."

.

**Yuffie and Vincent**

.

Yuffie licked her fingers, the salty tang clung to her lips and tongue. She gave a cheeky smile to Vincent while he looked away, in embarrassment.

"Oh, Vinnie, don't and act meek and coy~"

"Well, I had expected more from you." "Really Vinnie? You want _more_~"

Vincent felt the petite ninja's hand brush over his black pants, her hands still wet with her saliva. She smiled deviously, "I'm sure Tifa and Cloud wouldn't mind..." she whispered huskily, "I see them do it all the time~"

Vincent gave her an blank stare, "Why?"

She winked at him, "Oh, I know they like to break the rules like you and I do~."

.

"I know Yuffie is doing some despicable! I just know it Cloud!" seethed Tifa.

"Oh, come on, what could she do?"

"Remember when she did **that**?"

Cloud felt his grip on his bottle slacken, "Oh, Gaia forbid."

.

"Yuffie, you're getting it all over the place and on you."

"That's the idea~"

Vincent reached over but Yuffie wagged her finger at him, "Ah, ah, ah~ you have to be polite Vinnie, how would you like it if I did this to you?"

"Grinning from ear to ear." The ninja smirked, she knew despite that stoic face, Vinnie was always honest in such _delicate _matters.

"Damnit, Yuffie, all these potato chips are going to attract ants!"

"No its not." Yuffie rolled her eyes as she licked her fingertips, the gunner sighed miserably at the petite woman, "Well, explain that to Cloud and Tifa when they come back."

**XxXxXxXxX**

Hello my avid readers, another short chapter but expect more segments added to it, I know I've been ignoring my other stories but I tend to write better when it is in my fancy to do so. However, my update speed is gonna be unfortunately choppy in the coming months due to school, its going to be a rather trying one more so than the last ones.

The plot for this story is a twisting and winding one.

Ciao,

I am NRG

**End of Transmission**


End file.
